As we cross over to the next year.....

I stopped making new year resolutions a while ago.

After the initial euphoria, they eventually become another chore i try to keep up with.

It was easier making a list of things that i would want to do, and see how many i can achieve in that..

Here is some for the coming year...

• Love a lot more, hate a little less.
• Learn to listen what words don't say.
• Be able to be there for my own, and not expect them to do the same.
• Make new friends, and cherish the one's i already have..
• Be my son's best friend, and my partners soulmate. Be the home they want to return to every evening.
• End the year with as many loved ones and family or maybe more than i start it with- not less.
• Be able to give my best shot to every task in undertake, personally and professionally.
• Give hope only when i can deliver, and be able to understand and accept my limitations.
• Be the change in someone's life.
• Spend time with loved one's , doing nothing.
• Travel and see two places i have never been to before.

And finally, ....Be able to live upto my own expectations, and have the courage to face life, as it comes.

Have a great start to 2010 , all of you.May the year bring you the best ever experiences, memories, lots of love, health and of course wealth too.

What is your child to you?

That sounds like a question from "ask the doctor" column, even to me.

But really, what do they mean to our lives? What changes have they bought to us as a person?

Love/ Responsibility/Caring and all that emotions apart? Is there one single change that a kid brings to your life?

To me, i think it is the acceptance and realization of what is do-able and what is not. Of being able to understand reality as it is, and not fool myself into believing i can do more than i am capable of. Also a catalyst to find several resources in me, one's that i never knew existed.

With my child, i am just myself. I see in him an extension of both our personalities. He brings out the best and worst in me. In his eyes, i see myself as the world sees me. And there, i measure myself as a person. He, is my reality check- and a very effective one at that.

What is yours?

Little updates on life

It has been a long hiatus. Longest ever in my short blogging history.

Partially caused by the work load, and a good measure due to some not so nice happenings at family end, and additional thanks to other kinds of social media that one has discovered of late and has got heavily addicted to.

Saying something when you want to has it's own charm.

But then, once in a while, there is that urge to write more than 140 characters.

Not much has changed in my life. I still wrap life around the almost 5 year old, who vehemently protests when i say '4 going on 5'. In his mind, he is already six, and aspires to be 8.

The age 8 is very significant here. That is the age of his first cousin, who is his idol these days. Of course, someone who demonstrates -"how to jump of ledges and land with minimal damages" and " how to hang of door frames" and whistle!!, - has to be looked upon> no arguments there.

The husband, as always lives to work and spends 10 hrs spare time at home( 6 hours sleeping+ 1 hr for dinner+ 2 hours reading paper in the loo+ 1 hr doing i don't know what).

And i have been my usual self. Striving and constantly trying to be superwoman. Someday i'll reach there. Till then, i will develop my most coveted trait- procastrination. Some one has to, you see.

I am guilty of not reading a lot of my favorite blogs for a while, and not responding to comments. And have found a lot more blogs /people that blog. Should add them to reading list too.

Thank you forcoming back to read me and waiting it out while i practised procastrination. Hope i am worth it . I'll come around to all your blogs soon.

*celebrity style air kisses* ...*mwaah, mwaah...*

Reinforced relationships

Does it happen to all? when confronted with grief and sadness, family suddenly becomes a closer unit.

Over the years, i see it happening again and again and marvel the fact that people with contradicting opinions about everything in life, the one's who cannot stand each other, suddenly are united for the same cause. The differences magically seem to dissolve and both sides start seeing things with a lot more clarity and practicality.

The last two weeks have been so. There is still no respite, no answers, but there are a lot more conversations, assurances and an unbelievable amount of collective effort and prayers around us. We are hoping they will translate into goodwill and bring upon us a miracle.

But, in the meanwhile, it has made some of us bury our demons and skeletons from the cupboard- and ensure they do not return, ever.

If not for anything else, this phase has reinforced a lot of relationships that were otherwise dormant in the family. Now we wait for the miracle that all of us have been praying for.

Heartbreak

It has been ages since i blogged. Blame that on...myself.

It is always, later. Except that later meant- when i am done with all other priorities- more like, forever. I promised myself that i will resume blogging once back from the vacation. But then, i am queen of procastrination. And just when i have time to blog, there have been some developments at homefront. Some testing times for the family.

The vacation story will have to wait a bit longer.

God has a way of subtly telling us that life isn't all ha ha he he....he gives you pleasure on one hand, and agony on the other. Take both and live with it.

Someone close to me, someone i am very fond of, is going through a crisis that is life altering , hers and everyone around hers. On one hand, she has been gifted with a precious gift, and on the other, she sees her life balanced by a thread. To her, her life as she knows has altered, the coming months will define her life for the rest of years to live.

At times like this, when nothing is under our control, what does one do?

Accentuate the happiness and mask the grief?

Tone down the happiness and let the grief tide over?

Being party to both her happiness and sorrow,the lines between them blur at times.

At times, my thoughts go astray...tomorrow may be my turn.

Will i stay strong and make my destiny or will i give in and let my fate take over like an ivy?

What do i advice her?

To pray and expect a miracle?

To be strong enough to know that a miracle may not happen?

To be prepared for whatever life brings her?

I am here, miles away from her, praying for a miracle, hoping she has the strength to know a miracle may not happen, and praying that no one goes through what she is experiencing now.

To S: Always the fighter, always the one who benchmarked your life against someone better. The one who pushed against all the barriers. You are braver than you think.

Things will get better. I just know. You deserve it.

Love,

A

Here here...look this way.

Just a note to let you all know...

Halloween is past...Am back from the dead.

Happy after a holiday, sad that it ended.

And hoping to read posts from all my favourite bloggers and maybe post something of my own too.

Love all.

My seasons of senses..

If someone asked me 10 years ago what my favorite season was- i would have gladly said- summer. Purely for the fun of having vacations. Physically it did not matter. There were only 3 seasons as i remember growing up...

The rainy season ,

The windy season with no rains and when it i not very hot,

The summer season when one was always outdoors, unmindful of the heat and perspiration.

Over the years, one figures out seasons by senses, more than actual days...

A season when you cannot wear a cotton kurti and feel comfortable.

A season when one steps out and smells fresh flowers everywhere.

A season where mornings are misty and the morning water from the tap stuns the face...

A season when the horizon is a dull brown, and one when it is lush green..

One where you find greenish molds on bottles not opened for two weeks

When one clip is not enough to hold the clothes back on the clothesline..

When one can dry a load of clothes in half a day, and another where it takes two days...

When hot soup feels like bliss and another where ice cold water feels like heaven.

One just senses the change...

Two days ago, a golden yellow sky suddenly turned menacing dark, thunder and lightworks galore. The cloudburst left crowds stranded for cabs, drenched to the core.

Teeth chattering, clutching onto my bag for warmth, my heart saddens.The winds have changed direction, the rains are no longer going to be falling into my bedroom.

The monsoon , or what ever little of it was there, is officially over.

I become that grey hornbill, slowly scraping its beak against the aged bark, waiting for the next showers.