Next time amma, we'll go by plane.

We are back in Mumbai. After 6 days in Bangalore, aching heels and tired limbs, we were looking forward to the 22 hour train journey to catch up on some sleep.What we did not anticipate was..

- Four very bored 8-14 year old playing "word tag", " name, place animal thing" , and "movie names" for 18 hours- closeted in one berth right next to us.
-One less than two year old in the berth on the other side, who derived pleasure out of kicking the partition board.
- People who carry a water cooler in the age of bottled water and who forget to close the tap, thereby soaking the underside of all luggage in next coupe( ours!).
-One 4 year old , gone into hyperdrive.

Conclusions after the journey...

-You can drink as much coffee/ tea onboard without worrying about the calorie intake. it is 90% hot water anyway.
- Food has improved. We actually ate the stuff...( may also have something to do with waking up early)
- Avoid journeys longer that overnite with husband who had loong legs...they don't fit anywhere. On the upper berth, he is constantly blessing who ever passes below. And in the seat, he is spending waking hours trying to figure out which angle to bend them next.
- You cannot stay in the loo for more than sixty seconds...any process that requires longer time will have to wait till destination.
- Your child will not use the loo and washbasin without remarking several times that it is grimy and quoting your " germ theory". He also insisted that we change trains and take a better looking one.
- Never attempt to share a berth with a four year old. They need more space, and most of the time are very adept at pushing off the other occupant.
- Be prepared to be embarassed when your child makes loud remarks about other people in the compartment .Eg: " Amma, that uncle is not washing hands after going to loo", " this train is very dirty, please clean it"- to the cabin attendant.
-Father and son made a chant of" Next time, we'll go by plane" and gave me digusting looks for booking rail tickets.

So much for travelling together and spending time together...Next time, we'll go by plane.

Invoking the Elephant God

Off to bangalore , for one week.

Several items on the agenda..., including bringing back offspring who has stated showing signs of missing us from yesterday. He told my dad that he is going back to " his mumbai". He also said that he is sad because dad and mom have gone to office. My son, the proud one- never will he admit he is missing us. Damn! of all the qualities of life, he had to go and inherit this? I have lived my life with the inability to share sorrow and depression...now him? Sometimes i hate what genes pass on.

The reason we are meeting in Bangalore is because we are also officially declaring our" castle in the air" ready to be occupied, by-who ever rents it out. I wish, i wish it was us staying there..but that seems a long way off. Unless there is a sudden change of tide and both of us find jobs there. In this market, that seems a loooong call.Nevertheless, we will have the mandatory ganapathy homam and boiling of milk after that. And since it is vacation time and the family is fairly jobless- retired-, they will all be there in full attendance.And my son is yet to see the castle, his castle:-) Hopefully there will be some pictures to post when i return.

Getting here has not been easy...for the past 5 days, i have spend hours screaming at the modular kitchen guys, the courier guys, pestering my sister and brother in law who will disown us very soon. Work is still moving at snails pace...considering the fact that the registration of the house was marked by some very depressing events, i am not really surprised.

Off i go..do pray that the work actually gets done before the ceremony on 10th. We seriously need some high octave prayers here. On second thoughts, please pray that we actually get to live in our house soon. That would make my life. Ciao!

“Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; And every little absence is an age”

I had to kill myself not to use that ticket over this weekend.

I have had some miserable nights....it was like sleep just refused to touch me with a bargepole. I'd read, and read, and listen to some music, fold clothes, watch some TV, read again . switch on the AC, switch it off...And, Nope/Zilch/ Nada - No sleep.

The lending library guys thinks i'm a nut- he almost said that yesterday- albeit very diplomatically. No one has taken two books and returned them the next day, consecutively for the last three days. I think i am nuts.

My mom called me to check if i have made dinner. Heh?And in true style i had not thought of that at all... no fun cooking when you are all by yourself..Muesli will do.

The milkman rings the bell to check if i really exist.." madam, you have not taken milk for the last five days,and house is also not locked- so i thought i should check". At least i will not die and rot in here..he'll make sure of that.

The medical shop owner across the street wants to know when V will come back. His stock of lollipops are not diminishing.

V's friends accost me at the playgound. They want his number in kerala. To call and tell him to come fast. I add a request from my side too..

I call TB to say good night and don't hang up till he falls asleep at the other end..when the snoring starts, i disconnect.

As for the boy...he is refusing to speak to us, more so with me. He hears my voice, and misses me all the more-so he avoids it. I tell mom i am missing him so much- next year we may not send him for so many days.

Mom pauses, and says

"I miss my daughter, the one who left this house 17 years ago. Everyday for the last 17 years, i have cringed the same way you do now. I know she is safe, i know she is happy, she is living her life, but- she is my baby and i miss her, and i will never be able to tell her how much. I miss her incessant talking and non stop singing...We spend 345 days of the year looking forward to the 20 we spend with you.
And now, in this little boy, i see a little bit of both you and TB- it is like having both of you around. This is how it feels being a parent- now you know. Just let us enjoy being the grandparents, at least for these few days, let us indulge him. "

I have no words....what could i have said?


Ps: The title quote is from John Dryden.

Myriad kaleidoscopic moldy stuff

The amusing MinM tagged me to come clean on domestic horror stories...
I have been racking my brains ever since.

Do i write...

--about the time i served half cooked food to TB's childhood friends?- or does that fall under the genre of torture?- Out of sheer politeness they ate it. Never came home for 4 years after that and when the finally did, told me to order out. They refused to believe i actually figured out how to check if puttu was cooked or not. Sigh!

-- or about the time i dutifully kept the fairly stocked up fridge ON during a week long vacation, and promptly switched OFF the mains?
If y'all haven't faced 8 day heavily fermented dosa batter.....it's a loss. Trust me. It took two hours to get the crusty, foamy stuff out of the trays, two days to get the smell out of the fridge and 2 years to get it out of my psyche!

--More entertaining would be the descriptions of the myriad kaleidoscopic moldy bottles that my mother fishes out of my refrigerator crevices ( Trust me- they are never there when i look!). The patterns and colours on them are pretty intricate and amusing at times...though my mother does not appreciate my interest in mould cultivation.

-- Or about our Sofa....the day it goes for refurbishing, quarantine will be declared.

Instead...here is a domestic disaster..well, almost.

--Circa 2001. We the "DINK" couple are having the time of out lives in namma bengalooru. Then who else lands in the town to spice up our lives- none other than " Bryan Adams".

A huge bunch of friends decided to land up there, and plan and plot the POA ..the venue is in one end of town and we need to leave early...so we breeze through the day...park ourselves right in front in the hot sun...wait endlessley for the man to begin.

Finally he comes on stage in pristine white with " B A D" written across his tee and starts off with " The best of me"...
He played non stop... "Everything I Do", "Please Forgive Me" and "I Am Ready". Then came- "18 Till I Die", "Run To You", "Cuts Like A Knife" and "Summer Of '69"- I was on cloud number nine when realization hit me with a mallet.

I HAD LEFT THE GAS BURNER ON WITH THE CURRY IN THE PRESSURE COOKER!!!

I died.

I have no memories of the next few hours...there was no way we could get out of a crowd of 40, 000 people.I cried- literally. The crowd thought it was sheer fanatism!!!I was worried my kitchen would have blown apart- there would be cops waiting for us when we get home. I was going to be gulity for the entire building gutting.

The show ended in 15 minutes- it took us one hour to get our car out of the parking, and another hour to reach home. It was 2 am and the entire nighbourhood was quite...i was too scared to enter our lane- wondering what awaited us. There was nothing! We quietly walked up in darkness and opened our door...the entire house smelled of gas, and burnt food. In the dark we opened the windows and waited to the smell to go away before turning on any light...i tip toed over to the burner and found my pressure cooker intact...the cylinder had run out of gas!!

I can't even begin to describe the relief .
The pressure cooker , however had to be salvaged and the black crusty burnt stuff took a day of soaking to come off.

I have never, never left the house without checking the switches and burner henceforth!.

Here MinM...tag done.

Venting out

What could be worse than pining for the kid who is away having fun??

Having the other parent also go off for a week...leaving me all to myself on a long weekend---Times when i wish i lived closer to either set of parents... Now i have me, books and the stupid TV for company.

I.so.hate.this.

Lion's park

V has gone from one set of grandparents to another. He is now with TB's parents and aunts and uncles.Dad is taking him to Lion's park by the beach.

The child thinks he is off to see "Alex the Lion" and may be " Simba and Mufasa" too.

Little does he know that " Lion's Park" is actually " Lions Club Park' and the only animals he is going to see are the two legged variety.

Am hoping the beach and the sundaes make up for the dissappointment!

Being a mom

Nitya asked me " why don't you do this tag"? Never done one before, but couldn't think of a good reason why i should not....so there.

Some of the zillion reasons why i love being a mother...these are random 5, not really the top 5.

>>I love being a mother because having V gave an Axis for my life. From someone who is fiercely independent and lived life in her own terms, V now dictates the course of my life. Every decision, every step in life is taken around him and his comforts. He has bought in a purpose and given direction for the rest of our life. Every day in the last four years, i have looked at him and wondered what i was doing with my life before him.

>>Motherhood has made me appreciate the smaller, slower things in life. Somewhere over the years of working, i stopped smelling the flowers and watching the clouds. With V, everything matters. The joys of just being together and doing nothing. The myraid emotions that we go through during the course of the day.. He makes sure i do not miss the fine print of life.

>>Being a mother has changed my equestion with my parents, and the way they acknowledge me. I see them in a whole new light...every emotion, every challenge, every thrill that i go through, reminds me that they went through the same, in another age, with me and my sister. I wonder how they did such a fine job of it? Times were different, resources were less, but we were always contented. I always admired my parents. Now i am in awe of them. I wish to be at least half capable as them.

>>Being a mother has given new friends,and neighbours who did not know existed before. AND- i met ALL of them through V. A walk to the park or the grocer is never complete with some random stranger( to me) stopping by to say hello to V and introducing themselves as mama/ nana/ dadi/ chacchi of one of V's friends. He is a very social child and everyone in the complex knows us a V's mom and dad. If not for him, we would still be living our ignorable existence as 'that couple who appears once in a quarter for meetings'.

>>Motherhood has made me an utter romantic . Seeing TB transition from being my best friend to the one i wanted to spend my life with was a dream come true. Watching him as a father has been one of the most fulfilling things in life. The love in his eyes when he looks at V, the way he melts when V calls him 'acha', the mischeif in their eyes when they plan to tickle me....
Most of the times, i watch them quietly from a corner and fall in love all over again with TB, and with the son who looks exactly like him. I have moments when i feel my heart could burst with love, times when i feel my heart melt to a mush and never hesitate a hug or a kiss- be that to the son or the father. Five years ago- i would have sniggered at myself and said " so teenage".
Now i am that.

I'd like to cheat and write another 20, but it may not stop there. So i'll stop now. And writing this hasn't been easy without V around.


Can't think of anyone who has not done this tag yet..if there is someone, feel free.