Down and out
That's pretty much me, these days.
Being a single parent and managing a long commute in this city is taxing. It's almost despicable! And it is turning me into someone i don't like.
I don't like to speak to anyone outside my routine, and hardly have any friends over. The last time i went to a friends house? Don't even go there..
Technically, it was very easy to decide that the husband will be in another city for a while. I am the brave one- you see. I pretty much run the house on my own anyway. All he does is come home in the evening and spend that few hours on the couch. How much of a difference can it make if he does that once in two weeks. Managable, really. Reality ---- is nothing like that.
Everything in the house runs like clockwork. We leave on time, we reach late( blame the commute here), everything stays in it's place.The cushions on the sofa are intact, there are no shoes lying outside the shoe rack, and no wet towels on the bed. My ideal world!!
But i am hating it.
I miss looking forward to catch the tell tale sound of the car lock, time his way up the steps and waiting with an open door. I miss asking him to stop reading the paper in the loo and step outside so we could use it.
I hate not being able to spend that five minutes talking about our day. I miss the noise, the commotion the father and son create.
Above everything, i miss his presence. Sometimes all i want him is to be home. I can live with him contributing nothing to the goings- on in this house. He could be glued to TV all day. But the fact that " he is home" makes up for all that.
Who knew this would turn out to be so difficult?. May be this is what love matures into.... a beautiful companionship where the mere absence / presence of a person makes it all worthwhile.
Being a single parent and managing a long commute in this city is taxing. It's almost despicable! And it is turning me into someone i don't like.
I don't like to speak to anyone outside my routine, and hardly have any friends over. The last time i went to a friends house? Don't even go there..
Technically, it was very easy to decide that the husband will be in another city for a while. I am the brave one- you see. I pretty much run the house on my own anyway. All he does is come home in the evening and spend that few hours on the couch. How much of a difference can it make if he does that once in two weeks. Managable, really. Reality ---- is nothing like that.
Everything in the house runs like clockwork. We leave on time, we reach late( blame the commute here), everything stays in it's place.The cushions on the sofa are intact, there are no shoes lying outside the shoe rack, and no wet towels on the bed. My ideal world!!
But i am hating it.
I miss looking forward to catch the tell tale sound of the car lock, time his way up the steps and waiting with an open door. I miss asking him to stop reading the paper in the loo and step outside so we could use it.
I hate not being able to spend that five minutes talking about our day. I miss the noise, the commotion the father and son create.
Above everything, i miss his presence. Sometimes all i want him is to be home. I can live with him contributing nothing to the goings- on in this house. He could be glued to TV all day. But the fact that " he is home" makes up for all that.
Who knew this would turn out to be so difficult?. May be this is what love matures into.... a beautiful companionship where the mere absence / presence of a person makes it all worthwhile.