What love does...

Last night....

TB was coming in late. So we killed time by reading Dr Seuss's Books, drew on dotted lines, coloured parrots , and sketched about a tonne fish.

With my calf muscles killing me, i told V i want to lie down, can we please go sleep? He agreed, so we read the bubbles book in bed and settled. The pain was not going away and it must have shown on my face.

V quite did not like the look of it. He said" smile amma", i managed a weak one. Ten minutes later, he said" amma, i am hungry".

I almost fell out of my bed! my son, the food hater, is hungry!!!???I told him to stop joking and go to sleep. He said " No, i want idli"
We had mini idlis and sambhar for dinner and i had kept some for TB. I checked again, he said yes. I threatened him with dire consequences if i wake up and give him some and he does not eat all.

He still wanted idly. I gave up, went to the kitchen and got him idly..he wanted six of them, with jam. And his glass of water.

He took his plate, went to the dining table, got his cushion and sat down. I was ready to faint..he.is.sitting. at. dining. table, without a fight.

I read my book on the next chair, glancing sideways to catch him unwillingly stuff his mouth with the food , wondering what on earth??Why was he eating without wanting it??He finished all six idlis, had the water and tapped on my hand. I looked up, and he said.....

"Amma, now smile. I sat on the dining table, ate all my food, did not play with my car in between. I am good boy. You always smile when i finish all my food"

I think i cried. What did i do to deserve him?

....Love is what makes the ride worthwhile

Dear TB,

Eight years of marriage…feels like a life time. Wonder how it feels to be together when we are together for 50 years. We’ll maybe just wait to find out.

For our eight years together, here are eight songs….Why these 8, if you may ask?
They just remind me of US. I guess that is reason enough.

So here they are, in no order….

“Looks like we made it…” by Shania Twain

This song, totally! We did not have a controversial marriage by any means…there was love, family and lots and lots of faith. For everything that we have been through in the last 8 years…Look how far we’ve come, my baby.

“Somethin’ Stupid…” Frank Sinatra/ Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman

Now this one is your song. For those years when you disguised you love under friendship and never once told me. When you chaperoned me for my dates, and prayed silently that i would get over my crush for someone else. For standing by when my heart was unceremoniously broken. For never proposing, fearing it would even end our friendship. What would have happened to us, if it had not been for that fateful bus trip? I always wonder…..

I thank god for friends who take liberty, and that life changing bus journey.

“I want to stand with you on a mountain…” Savage Garden

There are days when I hate you. When I feel instant divorces should be a reality. Times when I feel I am being taken for granted. When I want to walk out of the house leaving everything behind. Just so you know how life will be without me around.
But those are just 6.5 days out of 365 days in a year. This song is for the remaining days of the year.

When we are older, and been married for maybe 50 years, maybe we could bring the 6.5 days to 6.5 hours..?
”…….i want to live like this forever, until the sky falls down on me”

“Where do I begin…”Andy Williams

Our love story…forever. This song has been around for ever, but none of them say it as well.
“……When I reach out my hands for you, it is always there”

OMG! I think I am beginning to become romantic after 30!!

“I don’t wanna miss a thing…” Aerosmith

Just as the song….

“The best of me…”Bryan Adams

You always get the best of me. And errr..sometimes the worst too… guess it comes as a package.

“ Life’s a highway….” Rascal Flatts

And the drive gets better with you along......taking turns, cutting through edges, swerving, balancing , singing along….and overall, enjoying this drive.

“When you say nothing at all…” Ronan Keating

Sometimes words are just not needed. The look, the smile, the nudge, the reassuring hand, says more than the word. And you know what, those moments stay forever in memory….to be lived over and over again.
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PS: Just realized most of the songs have been sung by a man for a woman. Does that make it inappropriate for me to dedicate them? Not that I care…just so you know:-)

You, and the tiny little fingers holding my other hand are my reason for life, and love, and happiness. Just don’t let go off my hands, ever!

I am like dis only...

All of us have quirks; I have not met anyone who claims to have none, yet.

I have zillions. Zillions of tiny quirks, some that even I do not realize exist. Some known to the entire family.

I love sitting on the floor when I am chatting up my family back at our native place , I just feels more- normal- don’t ask me why.

I have to, have to, wash my feet and face, just before I sleep.

I had a lucky dress, way back in college/ school, the one that I wore for my finals, my college interview and admission. Well, I did well in the test, got the admission and TB fell for me on the day of admission (this piece of trivia, he disclosed to me after 3 years and 10 months, or something close to that)

I have to spread the toothpaste all over the bristles, with my fingers, before I start brushing( I do that with V’s brush too)

And many many more….

And the one that I just discovered last night!

After we got V off the nappies, I started waking up once during the night to take him to the loo….no, it has not been fool proofed yet, but we( read- me) still try.

What has happened though, is that I have got into this habit of waking up in the middle of the night, and taking rounds of the house.

I wake up, use the restroom, drink water from the fridge, go to the front door, check the locks and the windows, making sure all our possessions are intact, go back to kitchen, wonder if I have forgotten to soak anything for the morning( I actually did that too once). Peep into the spare room to ensure v’amma has not vanished, find her covers from the other end of her bed and put them on her. Come back to the bedroom, kiss peacefully sleeping V to disturb him, physically lift TB’s arm and leg occupying my part of the bed, shove them to the other side, lie down and promptly go to sleep again.

I have been doing this for over two years now, and did not even give this routine a thought till last week. Last week, when TB’s cousin was visiting, I was on my regular rounds and was about to peek into the room and -----

I realized it was not v'amma sleeping in the room. Damn!

I’ll have to cut out that part of the routine, lest I get into trouble with visiting couples.

As for the remaining stuff, I am kinda liking it. It is a nice feeling to wake up, and check around and know that all’s well with my world.
Guess I’ll keep this quirk ‘coz I like it.

I prefer it this way

Everyday, when I get home, I get greeted by general pandemonium. There are toys on the floor, on the table and every part of the house. You cannot walk without tripping over crayons and a million other knick knacks strewn around. On top of that, there is a 3 and half year old flying out of the door to jump onto me. The radio is playing, so is his keyboard, where he has managed to press a key so far down that the single note is playing non stop.

All I need by then is some rest. I am dying to sit down, take off my footwear, take a shower, and feel like a human being again. All hopes of that get quashed when V decides that now is the opportune moment for him to bring out the coloring book. I am forced to sit down with him, and comment on each picture.
There are days when I wish V would sleep before I reach home (that sounded quite mean, even to me) and I could get some well deserved r.e.s.t

Two days ago, V was asleep when I got home. Just my luck!. I did all that I wanted to, took medicines for my bad throat, which my doctor has affectionately labeled as follicular tonsillitis, and warned as contagious.
I settled down and waited for TB to arrive, and instead of feeling quite relaxed about having all the time to myself, I was MISERABLE! .In about half an hour, I went from miserable to desperate and was contemplating waking up V. I just could not handle the silence.
Thankfully TB arrived soon. We had dinner and settled into the sofa and watched TV for a while…After some time, TB said ‘the house is so quite , and lifeless’. Totally so!

I would prefer the pandemonium any day, as opposed to this silence. Being a parent has rendered me incapable of a sedentary lifestyle. …..and I am not complaining.

When i travel....i just about drive everyone mad.

I survived the weekend, it was not as bad as i thought it would be. At least am alive to blog about it! Looking forward to Goa now.

Not looking forward to leave V and TB and go off for 4 days. Will miss them terribly when i am trying to have fun.

Also the fact that i have to plan and do a zillion things including V's clothes to wear for the next three days to school, plan the menu and discuss it with valiamma till she tells me to shut up, pre cook some stuff for the family and stuff them in the fridge, tell valiamma again, and again, to sort clothes by colour before she decides to wash them, tell TB to set the washing mode before he leaves, tell valiamma and V " never to open the door if you don't know who is calling" till they fall over and pretend deaf, remind them make sure the house phone is charged , so i can reach them, and to top it all, call six hours from Goa to make sure they are fine and have put the right seasoning in the right curry as per the day's menu.

Last time around when i travelled , valiamma finally told me to stop calling and get on with life! TB told me i am paranoid( just to put things in perspective, these were overseas calls- the pocket is still burning!). So this trip, i shall try and be reasonable and not call every six hours to check what i have already told them just about hundred times- i will T.R.Y

Oh , did i also mention i have told TB to be home early on these days? - reminded him just about every day for the last three weeks. There is a reason he's not run away? I'm just wondering! Has to be love!

Moments

There are some moments that stay in my memory, forever. And most of these are not significant milestones of life. These are just moments, very random, and with no particular reason, and no particular association to any event.
Last evening we took V out for some rides and his favourite KFC( pronounced kay ep zee). We stopped by to draw some cash and TB took V along to the ATM. I sat inside the car and watched them walk in the drizzle and in that one moment, felf my life was perfect, with these two men in my life, i did not need anything more.
Am i just being overtly emotional here? i do not know...all i know is that this moment, like many others, will stay with me forever. And will keep coming back...

Need To..need to

I need to reduce..weight, that is. Of course i can't write here how much i tilt the scales at right now, but it is definitely a very memorable figure( nightmarish!)
Well, it has not been this way always....i have had my days as the svelte, lean framed 18 year old. Not very sure if i looked any better than now at 48 kilos( please note- exacly 10 years ago)...but was definitely healthier.
I keep promising myself to reduce, every time i find a pretty dress and figure out it is two sizes small. What amazes me is that, a good 70% of the women i see on a daily basis are either healthy or putting it blankly, oversize for their height!. Then why is that 95% of the readymades available are not made for them??
Time someone gave fashion a serious thought!..a practical sit down thinking!
Coming back to losing weight, i even manage to put myself on track and actually start following sensible eating etc..but no exercise..very bad.I of course have the regular excuse trappings..no time, working mom, cooking dinner, child demanding time etc etc...
There are these dozens of people in my building who, unlike me, appreciate the activity of keeping fit and spend time doing what it takes...there are so many of them running around in different directions in the morning, i get worried we might have a pileup right here on the walkway. Wouldn't look too nice. They depress me!!I despise,loathe and envy them.
There i go again...
Ok,so the reason that i really started writing this is because today morning onwards, i have decided that i should maybe go back to sensible eating..more importantly, get TB also to do that. He loves food...preferably the kind that runs and swims.
When we were newly married, TB's aunt told me something that stayed.She lost her husband to Diabetes. He loved his food and at some stage, it just got to him. I repeat it here as my version to remind myself - which is very often.
" What is the worst thing that can happen to someone who loves eating and does not care about what it can cause??...living with a person who finds pleasure in cooking and feeding them"----we, that way are a match made in heaven...and a disaster in waiting.
Now that i have explained the reasons to myself and am partly convinced...i need to, need to put my eating habits in order....

I had a wonderful weekend....wonderful as i spend time with V and TB and stayed at home. Good things about the raging rains is that you cannot plan to finish that 10 things on the fridge list( most of them being quite irrelevant, but done just for the fact that you spent time writing them down), because it is raining. I am kind of liking the excuse.

So i spent time reading to V, helping him with his crayon drawings, trying to make stuff with play -dough( i must confess here that my artistic skills have hit a wall, all i could think of making was funny faces, while maramma- V's 60 year old best friend came up with a multicoloured snake- complete with hood and tongue).

V has found himself the perfect spot in the living room for enjoying the rain. I think it is quite cozy and moved the sofa there so i could enjoy watching him look out at the rain-could have spent the entire weekend looking at him and answering all the inane questions. He was thrilled when we made his favourite jelly....and put it in different moulds so he could have different shapes after each meal. I take him insisting to share his jelly is his way of expressing his love, and it made my weekend:-)

The weekend ended on two very notable occurences....

1. My tummy decided to call it a day and gave up on sunday night...thus having to forgo the Chocolate chip mousse from Baskin Robbins

2. Gave the Canadian Grand Prix a miss for the same reason cited above.



We wake up today to first day of school..and set the precedent to-fight/ scream/ cry / shout/ threaten throught breakfast before school. Hallelujah!