The ups and downs of friendship

Scene 1/ 10.30 PM on a weekday

V :"Amma, you're my best friend"
Me: *swoons* "TB, you heard that? So cute of him...yes kanna! you are my best friend too..."
V:" Acha is my best friend too!"
TB*does a very proud papa, tribal dance*"Yo"
V: "Can we play car now?"


Scene 2/ 8.00 PM, just before dinner

V: " Amma you're my friend , na?"
Me: " Of course yes Kanna, why ?"
V: " I want that" *Pointing to jar of strawberry jelly drops kept high away from him*
Me: "no"
V: " You're not my friend...Katti"

Scene 3/ 7.30 AM on saturday, like two seconds after waking up

V: " Amma, you're my best friend ever"
Me: " Ok kanna, you are my friend too"
V:*eager expression*" We'll go and play in park now, na?"
Me:Huh!

Scene 4/Anytime of the day

Me:" who made this mess here?, how many times have i told you blah blah....." *rolls eyes*
V: " You are my best friend, i want to hug you" holds onto leg amidst protests*.
" I will give you a kiss also"

Scene 5/ After a week of being best friends

V:" Amma, you are my best friend!"
Me:" Ok kanna, tell me what you want , NOW"


People...i see a future PR guy here.

My story of panchamritham......

Sivaratri is a big celebration back where i grew up..it still is. Only, i haven't been around during the celebrations for over a decade.

The sights, the sounds , the smells...oh ! the smells!

Sneaking into the granary to check if all the ingredients for 'panchamritam' have arrived, waking up on sivarathri mornings to the sounds over all the containers available being washed, mashing the bananas with sugar cane, wearing new dresses, arrival of all relatives.....the pooja, prasad on banana leaves, the fireworks after that.....and the sugar induced coma that sets in post lunch.

I now live with memories!

It was always the one festival that bought the entire extended family tree to our ancestral home...the house , the courtyard would be teeming with people, maybe a hundred relatives, and even more villagers....

The kids always got the messier tasks, collecting flowers, peeling bananas, mashing them, but participate we did. In between running around and sneaking off to play.

The men had the more serious tasks...arranging for the 'poojari', getting the pachamritam ready before the start of thew pooja, making sure the "kathina vedi"- barrel crackers , and planted safe and away from the crowd, while amma and ammamma made sure these were enough vessels to give away panchamritham to each house hold..of course after giving them a mouthful on not bringing their on containers:-)

We were free to do what we wanted and usually caught up on where we left of the day before, or the week before....playing, running around- till the pooja starts.
Then there is impatience, for the pooja to get over, and get the prasad..." pachamritam" on banana leaves, running in all directions.I always played safe and took one spoon on the leaf..then went and got myself a small bowl and took extra helpings in that...some advantages on being the girl of the house, and of staying in the 'tharavadu'.

Then we would all find a safe spot from the scorching sun stand and watch/ listen to the fireworks...it was always the youngest uncle who used to be in charge- i think he got a kick out of getting louder and scarier crackers every year....

My mom hated what came after this. The panchamritam, sittting in a huge vessle, had to divided between the various households as per their contribution, and number of members at home.
Logistical nightmare...and a very bad house keeping nightmare come true.
Pachamritham, is one tricky matter...like a mixture of custard and honey- sticky in parts, runny in some, stains like crazy and ants love it.

After all that is over, there would still be about 20 ltrs of the stuff left, that goes to the immediate family, and gets stored , to be sent away to....chez moi now, TB's house, Our BIL's house maybe this year..all relatives, who may come visiting in the next two months, or who may get visited in the same time span.
That leaves about 10 ltrs, which we ate in bulk...and passed out in sugar induced coma..for the remainder of the day.

oops! no sleep...there was still the whole night movie at the temple compound. All stories of god played out on the makeshift screen, while the entire village stayed awake with Lord Shiva. At some stage in life, we out grew this and stuck to watching the same stuff, but staying at home.

Sivarathri now, is another day ay office, trying to figure out how to keep V busy at home, missing the celebrations and calling up home to maybe catch some long distance sounds of the celebrations. And of course reminding amma to bring us( TB) a large horlicks bottle full of panchamritam on her next trip.

Life is all about living in anticipation , right? and my expectations are pretty simple. A bottle of home made panchamritam, make me delirously happy!

About 426

That is the number of muscles i have on the lower half of my body.

After a week on the treadmill, they are all clamouring for attention!!!!

Sick preschooler at home

After 2.30 AM 'emptying contents of stomach' on parents brand new blanket, and falling asleep, I let the poor child sleep through morning and not send him to school.

Let the poor child rest at home and recuperate...

Ok...you get the background. We leave for our respective offices and this is the next scene.

9. 20 AM: call up home to check on poor sick child. Poor child is awake and has demanded noodles/'Lightning McQueen' cake/ Chicken for breakfast. Demanded that mom call dad and ask why he left without bye!

11.40 AM: Usual time for V to reach home from school, so i call by habit. V picks up phone- i ask him if he is feeeling better? He ignores question, and proceeds to ask me why i was calling again.So i speak to valiamma and keep the phone down.

11.45 AM: V calls back asking why i did not speak to him!!!!!!So i listen to the entire rentition of "Finley the fire engine" and ask him if i could keep the phone down . He says bye, gives me a flying kiss

12.15 PM: V calls again. Asks"When you come home, will you read me this book?". I am holding another call, i politely put that on hold and ask" which book, kanna?".
V: "This book mama.." picture V furiously waving the book in front of mouthpiece*

Me: " I can't see over the phone, tell me which story?"
V: * long pause*. I go back to other call and tell them i will call back
"hmmmmm...the....water, pond...one minit....
ah..the duckling going to mama duck story"

Me:" The ugly duckling?...sure, when i come in the evening, we will read it. ok?Amma is going to keep the phone. Bye"
V: " Ok, bye"

1.30 PM: I call to check if he has has lunch,cough has got better, has slept et cetera...
Valiamma picks up and says she is going back to native village( She says this at least 5 times everyday, just so you guys don't panic yet). Apparently he did not want to have lunch and she forced it down his throat, so he told her" You not my friend, you go home"..and they were not talking to each other.

I demand to speak to him, he refuses to come to the phone, wants the phone to be taken to him.
Finally, he comes on line" kannu, how are you feeling?"
V: " Fine....will you get me a white car like buntu's when you come?"

Me: " No, i just got you a plane yesterday. Did you have lunch?"
* ingores second part of question*" Why are you in office, you come home"

Me: " I will be there soon...you go sleep for while, only then can you go down and play. ok?"
* No response*...i can hear him making "vroooom" sounds

Me: " Ok..go sleep NOW. And don't trouble valiamma"
V: " Bye"

2.30 PM: V calls
V: "Amma, when you come, will you get me a gingerbread man?"
Me: "Why are you still awake?. Plus i really don't know where to get a gingerbread man from. Go to sleep. "

V:" You ask the autorickshaw uncle to take you to gingerbread shop, and get gingerbread man from there, ok?"
Me: Ok. I will try. IF i get it, i will bring it in the evening. Go to sleep

4.30 PM: Call home, no response...means they are at the park.

6.30 pM: Call home, no response...still playing at park

7.30 PM: Call home* rings endlessly*, Valiamma picks up at last.
Me:" You just got back from park, so long?"
Valiamma:*exasperated* "You should maybe send him to school, even if he is sick. Now i am exhausted.

We read 'ugly duckling', 'the noddy story' and played with jigsaw puzzles after all that.
Now, i need a leave!So much for sympathy!!

I am on the right side...

of 30.

When the clock strikes midnight, i will turn 32.At 32 life is better than ever. I have what i always wanted. Love, life and happiness:-)

By the likes of a conversation i had with a friend last week, i am offically halfway through life...i don't see any scope of surviving beyond 65. Actually 60, but i guess i'll hang on another 5 to make sure i don't lose out on the retirement benefits i have been diligenty paying for.

And as it is the case with most of the years, TB is most likely to forget it is my birthday. I have a bet with myself to see if he remembers.

What it also means is that,

- Officially , i am allowed to retort to the kids( used in context) who comment at random places with "Cut it out buddy, i am twice your age"

I am soo looking forward to that cheap thrill in life.

New Year, same life

- Still hanging on for dear life on the local trains.
- Still fighting with V on school day mornings.
- Still picking up wet towels from my bed.
- Still can't make up my mind on what to cook for dinner in advance.
- And after all this, no energy for a little love.

Life sucks!Late realization.

The weekend that was

So went our christmas extended to anniversary weekend....It was totally fun, except for the return journey. Ahem! We'll come to the bad parts later...

We drove( figuratively of course, i am addicted to the passenger seat. Wouldn't trade that for anything) about six hours, including the one hour we spend chasing V to make him eat breakfast.

Till we were about 20 km from Mahabaleshwar, we were pretty convinced that it could not be as cold as we were told. The sun was blazing, the car Ac was full on, and we were hoping for a winter break?? But lo behold, it.was. cold. The temp suddenly dropped, and Mahabaleshwar was everything that we were told it would be. And yes, it was teeming with people. Half of mumbai seemed to have descended there.

Nevertheless, it was worth the travel. We had two good days roaming, including the famed temples, the breathtaking( heartstopping, is more like it) views from the various points, went boating, and horsing(as V says it), ate all sundry stuff and bought a lot of stuff from the MAPRO farm- like three months worth of jams, crushes, jellies etc.

Personal highs-

- Having TB feed V three times a day, for two days straight. I loooved it. I could totally do another trip to see that. He was completely papa's boy.
- Watching a strawberry garden, and real strawberries( please pardon if i sound completely over the top here- i grew up pretty convinced that strawberry picking was some exotic thing that only children outside india did). I took pictures of strawberries- red , green and all shades. I have hereby gotten oven strawberry madness. And yes, we also has strawberries and cream, like every faithful who comes here.
- Admiring the baby radishes and baby carrots that lines every road. I was sooo tempted to buy all of them.
- Singing along with the car radio, and teaching V the lyrics of " We will, we will rock you"
- Complete lack of mobile network. Ha ha....there was not even one signal bar where we stayed. And there was peace.

Some revelations over the weekend

- I am completely out of form, half a day to all the points , and i was panting like a dog!
- V has inherited a lot of habits from my dad, inclusing a very irritating one of not using the pot when outside his home. He waited till we got back home to do his thing!
- V has motion sickness. He thereby joins the ranks of his mother and grandmother who consider antihistamines among world greatest discoveries.
- I still remain incapable of riding a horse, or rowing a boat, or driving a car. Hmmm! Maybe i should include this into a new year list?
- If ever one needs a romantic holiday, one should find alternate accomodation plans for child.
Child+ Romantic destination= Not happening. Am glad we figured this one out before we plan on a romantic escapade.


The anniversary itself was very eventful, where my stomach and my intestines gave up and had a field day. I was up from 4 AM, emptying the contents of my stomach. Considering the long drive, i had a ' lomotil' and did not have a single drop of water. Despite that,we stopped several times and i threw up( or tried to, rather).
V joined the club and threw up all over his dress. We changed his dress, cleaned up, started,and he threw up again!. Between me and V, poor TB made several stops,i was pretty convinced he would stop and ask " Ok, whose turn is it now?" after some time. He held his fort and got us home very quickly.

We managed to go to the temple and thank god for making sure we have not killed each other by now, and making a petition that it stays that way for the next 50 years.

Then we went to the hospital and and told the doctor all about my stomach and intestines giving up on me. Went home feeling better courtesy one injection and several medicines. The doc called it hyper acidity, and lectured me on skipping meals. TB calls it stupidity- all it needed was one Omez, he says.
Anyways, i now have 3 days worth of disgusting medicines to have, that should put my digestive system back on track.

All in all, a very memorable anniversary, and a weekend that we totally enjoyed. Some pictures from the trip are here.....


V at our place of stay....they had lovely gardens all around..

Father and son walking in the cold night( bad lighting, i know..)

Yay..strawberries!!

And some more strawberries....

....Love is what makes the ride worthwhile

Dear TB,

Eight years of marriage…feels like a life time. Wonder how it feels to be together when we are together for 50 years. We’ll maybe just wait to find out.

For our eight years together, here are eight songs….Why these 8, if you may ask?
They just remind me of US. I guess that is reason enough.

So here they are, in no order….

“Looks like we made it…” by Shania Twain

This song, totally! We did not have a controversial marriage by any means…there was love, family and lots and lots of faith. For everything that we have been through in the last 8 years…Look how far we’ve come, my baby.

“Somethin’ Stupid…” Frank Sinatra/ Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman

Now this one is your song. For those years when you disguised you love under friendship and never once told me. When you chaperoned me for my dates, and prayed silently that i would get over my crush for someone else. For standing by when my heart was unceremoniously broken. For never proposing, fearing it would even end our friendship. What would have happened to us, if it had not been for that fateful bus trip? I always wonder…..

I thank god for friends who take liberty, and that life changing bus journey.

“I want to stand with you on a mountain…” Savage Garden

There are days when I hate you. When I feel instant divorces should be a reality. Times when I feel I am being taken for granted. When I want to walk out of the house leaving everything behind. Just so you know how life will be without me around.
But those are just 6.5 days out of 365 days in a year. This song is for the remaining days of the year.

When we are older, and been married for maybe 50 years, maybe we could bring the 6.5 days to 6.5 hours..?
”…….i want to live like this forever, until the sky falls down on me”

“Where do I begin…”Andy Williams

Our love story…forever. This song has been around for ever, but none of them say it as well.
“……When I reach out my hands for you, it is always there”

OMG! I think I am beginning to become romantic after 30!!

“I don’t wanna miss a thing…” Aerosmith

Just as the song….

“The best of me…”Bryan Adams

You always get the best of me. And errr..sometimes the worst too… guess it comes as a package.

“ Life’s a highway….” Rascal Flatts

And the drive gets better with you along......taking turns, cutting through edges, swerving, balancing , singing along….and overall, enjoying this drive.

“When you say nothing at all…” Ronan Keating

Sometimes words are just not needed. The look, the smile, the nudge, the reassuring hand, says more than the word. And you know what, those moments stay forever in memory….to be lived over and over again.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: Just realized most of the songs have been sung by a man for a woman. Does that make it inappropriate for me to dedicate them? Not that I care…just so you know:-)

You, and the tiny little fingers holding my other hand are my reason for life, and love, and happiness. Just don’t let go off my hands, ever!

Off to catch a nip in the air...

We are running far away from the mumbai madness for our anniversary....and enjoy a little bit of winter.

Agenda also includes introducing V to horse rides and strawberry picking

More about the trip and pictures when we come back:-)

And so we celebrate..at office

I work a very small office. Small, in the number of employees there are. Considering that in my first job, i was one among 350 employees and in the second one, i was one in some 10, 000 odd, the current figure of 14 is sounding very miniscule.

That means there are no material perks, i can't throw around the " Oh , i am an employee of xxx, so please make sure you put that corporate discount in the bill" line anymore.I do not get vouchers for anniversaries that i forget to reedem till December 30th, when they read " valid till Dec 31st", and then i run off and buy some crap to make use of it.

But here, what i do have is a bunch of colleagues, who are a like a family in itself. All of us know a lot about each other, way too much may be :-)*wink*
I am the last entrant into the team, the rest have been around for ever, i think. I can work peacefully, without being paranoid that the colleague in the next cubicle is scheming to get me ousted( which was the case last time around, there was always some one after my job) First the stress of having a job, then the stress of managing to keep it..too much.
Well, no more.

In the office, we celebrate everything that fancies us....diwali, onam, ganesh chathurthi, eid, india winning a match, completion of 1 year( mine, mine), completion of 8 years, 15 years( yeah, that how long some of them have been around), buying a house, selling a house, a project well completed...anything. All we need is reason to order food and keep at it.

PS: I have figured out that as long as i am here, i will never lose weight. There is someone ordering something to eat , all thought the day, all days of the week. And very lovingly , it is bought is excess to share will everyone.

Today we had our christmas party(if you insist on calling it by a name- for us it is JUST another opportunity to eat:-)). Topped with some gift exchange. The gifts are numbered and picked in random, and they cannot exceed 100 rs.

So here are some pics of the party food( which is the focus of the party BTW)

Those chutney sandwiches and the delectable dip and some of the cakes are home made. Wow!

Our small tree with the gifts around it.


There was carols playing in the background and it is christmas time again. Now all we need is winter( probable) & some snow( in my dreams).

On a side note, i DO need to check the carols CD that was playing. Since when did " Last Christmas" become a carol?!!

Ciao, till we find another excuse to gorge.

If only i could...

8.15 AM- ten minutes to schoolbus

V is having a standoff- holding onto his clothes , insists on being dressed by TB who is in the bathroom, right in the middle of shaving.

Me, almost ready, barks at him from the bedroom that he can stay back if he does not allow to be dressed NOW.



8.17 AM

Me, dressed, steps out and sees V , still holding on to dress, braving tears.

Sits down and gets him dressed. He hugs and does not let go. Gets him dressed, tell him he needs to sleep in the afternoon , else he will be cranky in morning.

V nods, looks up and says "Amma House'l irikko?"- " Will you stay at home ?".
*Gathers up self* " Why kanna?"

" Kannunt'e koode irikko?"- "Will you stay with me?"
* fumbles*" Of course i will..but i have to be at office, i promise i will come soon, then we will......"

TB comes in time,takes V's shoes from my hand and saves me from the disgace of weeping before i leave for work.But.....


In my head, i am perennially questioning my decision to stay a working mom....

-When i realize my baby is growing up , and i am missing seeing him do that.
-Those few moments when before i sleep, realizing i have not hugged or kissed V as much as i wanted.
- When i realize that TB and me have not had a decent conversation in days.
- When we are so tired, we crash on both sides of the bed like strangers...
- When i want to make something special and realize it will have to wait for the weekend. Three hours of commute is. no.fun
- when i have not called family in days because it was past their bedtime when i wrapped up my day.

I enjoy my work, and it was a conscious decision to get back to work after 3 months of having V. We had an option of moving to two different cities then. TB had an offer from a very large company , but the posting was at a remote location. The other offer was from a not so big organization, but it was a bigger city, and i had the option of taking a transfer there.

I was very big on continuing to work so off we went with option 2.

Of late, we have made some significant investments in life..and the first thing TB said was, "now we need your income more than ever". We have never compromised on life- till now, the going has been good. We have EMI's , bill's and now, V's schooling. Additional income is very very welcome. I do not make a great deal, but it counts.

When V was smaller, it was emotionally manageable.I guess it was also because i had my sis living in with us. She was my support system. Now that he is almost four, and we are on our own, i miss being with him more than he does i guess. It is more like a realization that very soon, he may not need me around. And i will be left with a sense of deprivation, of not having been around as much as i wanted to be.

Everytime he turns difficult, i end up questioning my parenting skills. Am i not doing something right? I read a lot of other mom's a feel better that it is not just me. Still does not help that wave of guilt that washes through, more often now than ever.

I hope that TB gets a job somewhere far away, in some other part of the world. Then i will have the perfect excuse to quit and stay at home with V and TB. I can't think of any other excuse to quit working now.

But i SO want to be at home when V returns from school, do things with him. I SO want to feel a little more energetic when TB is back, so i have enough time to just snuggle up. Have time to talk to him about anything other that reminding him to finish this work, pick up this stuff etc.

What i would not give for that day!

Forgetting comes without trying...the fear lasts

It is almost a week after the carnage in Mumbai and we have moved on..well, almost. We are back at work, at school, and are worried about the cabs going off roads from tomorrow..

But this time, it has not been easy. It IS not easy...the fear, the paranoia has stayed on.

On monday morning, the train was eerily silent. Unknown people did not smile at each other,did not abuse the crowd and it stung.
If the train stopped for more than a minute, worried heads looked out to see why, - has there been another incident?
If a phone was answered with a concerned " what?", everyone perked up to know the rest of conversation...did something happen?
On a regular day in mumbai locals, no one bothered, even if you would have been announcing divorce over the phone!. This time, it is different.

Three days i stayed home, glued to television, starting from 10.00 PM on 26/11.I read and re read the papers, every piece of article written. I wanted to slap mainstream media for their irresponsible coverage. I read my thoughts here, here and here. And several more thought provoking ones like this, this and this.

We were to take V for the Disney Show, and found it difficult to explain why Mickey was not coming to see him. He solved my dilemma, by asking me if it was because of the fire he saw on TV..the fireman was " pouring water- so how will mickey come?". He also added " Mama, don't watch gunfighting and fire today, ok?"
I switched off the TV, went down with him to the park and thanked god for my life.

TB went to work when the rest of the city was scampering back to the safety of their homes. He spent the nights there....and came back to his family three days later.
I think it was right of him to do that...his guests needed the moral support. To trust in this city, in our genuine concern.

I received several messages asking to light candles, to rally and so on. I did light a candle, on 27th night, and prayed that the people still held captive may live to see another dawn.
And no, i did not light any other candle to show my solidatiy for the city, i did not join in any peace march, nothing.

I CARE, as much or maybe more.
But this time, i do not just want to light a candle and show my solidarity. I want to be able to contribute, to help, to be the change i want to see. As a citizen, i do not know what i can do. And that, i think is the biggest failure of our nation.

The biggest let down of all, has been the way the people who are supposedly leading us have acted during this entire episode.
-From our president who thought her presence was not required as the goverment was capable- capable of what????
-Our PM and leader of opposition could not even agree to travelling together!
-The cheif minister, who decided to make this a picnic,
-the home minister whose words of wisdom will not be forgotten too soon,
- a CM elsewhere who fell below his level by retorting at the family of a brave soldier thus. Grief is very personal.
"Mr. CM, grief is very very personal, unless i ask you to share mine, please do not trespass"- will someone please say that to all the polilicians??including this chameleon?

Everyone i know has either a friend, a relative , an acquaintance of someone they know who has been there during the ordeal...we spend the non working hours talking about the various narratives we hear..some real, some untrue, some rumours....

Of course, in another few days, we will forget and get back with bickering on trains. Marine Drive and Gateway will have its nocturnal visitors again...

As i step out to work each day , all i pray for now is to be able to come home in the evening and share the day with my loved ones.That is all i need for now, and ever.

My revenge plots

In the middle of a serious discussion, the other person says “I’ll call you back, I am getting another call” and hangs up.

I am anxious to finish the conversation, and get the plan in place (being the worrywart that I am).I keep staring at the phone, expecting it to ring any moment…

It does not…..for I minute, for 5 minutes, for 30 minutes, for an hour,
--- For what seems like eternity.

I get back to doing other stuff, absent mindedly, waiting for the phone to ring….And mentally plotting revenge on the person who is to call you back,
--Because, I know he/ she is not going to call back, the plan is not going anywhere,
--Because I am the (only) one responsible around here, and I will end up doing everything on my own,
-- Because I hate being superwoman and all that stuff.

I am still doing other stuff, waiting for the phone to ring, and my revenge plot is getting thicker now. I have disowned, denounced all sorts of relationship with the other party, given up on them for life, and am currently plotting life sans the other person.

I have, by now, lamented my state of affairs, compared it with a lot of peers, come to the conclusion that I have got a raw deal in life…..

The superwoman alter ego wakes up, figures out all this can be done by self, shoves whining self persona into the closet and plans it all out to the T, including the revenge. Exactly then,

Phone rings, other person calls back…………
Revenge plot dies!!!

Happens very often in my world…………………..

I am like dis only...

All of us have quirks; I have not met anyone who claims to have none, yet.

I have zillions. Zillions of tiny quirks, some that even I do not realize exist. Some known to the entire family.

I love sitting on the floor when I am chatting up my family back at our native place , I just feels more- normal- don’t ask me why.

I have to, have to, wash my feet and face, just before I sleep.

I had a lucky dress, way back in college/ school, the one that I wore for my finals, my college interview and admission. Well, I did well in the test, got the admission and TB fell for me on the day of admission (this piece of trivia, he disclosed to me after 3 years and 10 months, or something close to that)

I have to spread the toothpaste all over the bristles, with my fingers, before I start brushing( I do that with V’s brush too)

And many many more….

And the one that I just discovered last night!

After we got V off the nappies, I started waking up once during the night to take him to the loo….no, it has not been fool proofed yet, but we( read- me) still try.

What has happened though, is that I have got into this habit of waking up in the middle of the night, and taking rounds of the house.

I wake up, use the restroom, drink water from the fridge, go to the front door, check the locks and the windows, making sure all our possessions are intact, go back to kitchen, wonder if I have forgotten to soak anything for the morning( I actually did that too once). Peep into the spare room to ensure v’amma has not vanished, find her covers from the other end of her bed and put them on her. Come back to the bedroom, kiss peacefully sleeping V to disturb him, physically lift TB’s arm and leg occupying my part of the bed, shove them to the other side, lie down and promptly go to sleep again.

I have been doing this for over two years now, and did not even give this routine a thought till last week. Last week, when TB’s cousin was visiting, I was on my regular rounds and was about to peek into the room and -----

I realized it was not v'amma sleeping in the room. Damn!

I’ll have to cut out that part of the routine, lest I get into trouble with visiting couples.

As for the remaining stuff, I am kinda liking it. It is a nice feeling to wake up, and check around and know that all’s well with my world.
Guess I’ll keep this quirk ‘coz I like it.

Very important weekend

Very busy weekend ahead..some life altering decisions need to be discussed and decided by our small family. Hope to be back on monday with a clear head and better direction on the course of our life.

Inheritances in health

Every family seems to inherit a lot from their elders, especially when it comes to health, and more specifically ill health and allergies.
My sister has completely taken over from mom. She has the slight wheezing/ skin ailments that mom has, and it has been there as long as i can remember.
I had exhibited all possibilities of inheriting all the unwanted stuff from dad. My systems are all screwed up starting from neck to the top( the brain is not included). Tonsilitis( from dad), blocked nose if i as much stand before an A/C( from dad?) and all associated stuff. These are from age 5 , so the family is kind of used to the fact that i am sneezing away to glory most of the year, and my sister is heavily moisturizing her ankles, even in monsoon.
For the last one year , a new phenomenon has started, i wake up with an arbid blocked nose, that transpires into a heavy throat pain, and my voice changes-sometimes i even sound like TB- and in about three days, lose my voice completely.
Not nice at all, considering that-
-I love talking.
-My job involves talking, most of the day.
- I love singing along with the radio.
- The doc seems to have no idea why this happens- she suspects allergy!

Allergy? WTH, where did this come from?
" Family...please raise your hands those who have contributed this one to my genes"

PS: V seems to be inheriting his mothers legacy as of now...
-he gets a cold sitting with the car A/C on.
-has been treated with asthalin on three occassions in his four years of existence.
- that dark patch on his ankle may turn out to be rough skin( god forbid!)
Maybe i should end the list here.Period!

Not really the nuclear family types

There is something very comforting about walking into a house filled with loved one's. I just had to say that.

In our early days of marriage,the worst part of the day was coming back from work and opening the door to an empty , dark house. It always depressed me, till TB came home, or something equally interesting happened. I think partly the reason why we decided to have V is because it became too much( or too less) to handle after a point in time.

After V happened to us, one thing i always look forward to every working day, is the smile that breaks on V's face when he seems me on the other side of the door.I can remember that moment for the last three and half years-the toothless grins and gurgles, the wobbly unsteady legs holding my hand and walking me to the sofa from the door.

And now, as soon as i ring the bell---i hear all these noises in the very same order. It is like the tonic to all my ailments
-a very audible gasp
- a loud " amma has come!"- in that very excited "OMG- i can't believe it!" tone
-noise of numerous things falling all over the house
-little hands fumbling with the locks
-shouting at valiamma to help when the safety lock is on
- chuckles from behind the half open door, waiting for me to act surprised and find him.

It feels like home!and all the troubles of the day magically dissappear.

The last few days, i go home and see my parents and V sitting around the room, drawing , painting, cutting and doing whatever a 4 year old would want to do. I just feels so nice to have loved one's around.

I have figured out i am not the type who really enjoys being a nuclear family..i need people around, my family, loved one's, and - the more the merrier!

I prefer it this way

Everyday, when I get home, I get greeted by general pandemonium. There are toys on the floor, on the table and every part of the house. You cannot walk without tripping over crayons and a million other knick knacks strewn around. On top of that, there is a 3 and half year old flying out of the door to jump onto me. The radio is playing, so is his keyboard, where he has managed to press a key so far down that the single note is playing non stop.

All I need by then is some rest. I am dying to sit down, take off my footwear, take a shower, and feel like a human being again. All hopes of that get quashed when V decides that now is the opportune moment for him to bring out the coloring book. I am forced to sit down with him, and comment on each picture.
There are days when I wish V would sleep before I reach home (that sounded quite mean, even to me) and I could get some well deserved r.e.s.t

Two days ago, V was asleep when I got home. Just my luck!. I did all that I wanted to, took medicines for my bad throat, which my doctor has affectionately labeled as follicular tonsillitis, and warned as contagious.
I settled down and waited for TB to arrive, and instead of feeling quite relaxed about having all the time to myself, I was MISERABLE! .In about half an hour, I went from miserable to desperate and was contemplating waking up V. I just could not handle the silence.
Thankfully TB arrived soon. We had dinner and settled into the sofa and watched TV for a while…After some time, TB said ‘the house is so quite , and lifeless’. Totally so!

I would prefer the pandemonium any day, as opposed to this silence. Being a parent has rendered me incapable of a sedentary lifestyle. …..and I am not complaining.

When i travel....i just about drive everyone mad.

I survived the weekend, it was not as bad as i thought it would be. At least am alive to blog about it! Looking forward to Goa now.

Not looking forward to leave V and TB and go off for 4 days. Will miss them terribly when i am trying to have fun.

Also the fact that i have to plan and do a zillion things including V's clothes to wear for the next three days to school, plan the menu and discuss it with valiamma till she tells me to shut up, pre cook some stuff for the family and stuff them in the fridge, tell valiamma again, and again, to sort clothes by colour before she decides to wash them, tell TB to set the washing mode before he leaves, tell valiamma and V " never to open the door if you don't know who is calling" till they fall over and pretend deaf, remind them make sure the house phone is charged , so i can reach them, and to top it all, call six hours from Goa to make sure they are fine and have put the right seasoning in the right curry as per the day's menu.

Last time around when i travelled , valiamma finally told me to stop calling and get on with life! TB told me i am paranoid( just to put things in perspective, these were overseas calls- the pocket is still burning!). So this trip, i shall try and be reasonable and not call every six hours to check what i have already told them just about hundred times- i will T.R.Y

Oh , did i also mention i have told TB to be home early on these days? - reminded him just about every day for the last three weeks. There is a reason he's not run away? I'm just wondering! Has to be love!

My pookkalams

Some pictures of my floral creations..

This is the pookkalam i made on Onam today.

Please note the very demure and coy looking son sitting next to it. I am not so sure what to make out of that expression. I am definitely not liking the 'demure and coy' look.


C'mon buddy, snap out!



This is what i made last year. It lasted exactly 3/4 th of the day till the housekeeper decided to clean it up thinking it was some kids prank.

The subsequent tongue lashing and neck wringing is still very clear in his mind. This year, he's not even stepping on this side of the floor, leave alone clean it. He better not. I am very stuck up about grudges. I take them very personally. Especially when it comes to pookkalams.


Happy Onam!!!!Just ignore me and my grudges.