Will you also go away?

Isn't that one of our primal fears?a perennial one too? That someone we love will go away from us? Irrespective of how old we are, that fear exists.

We made a decision this year, to do away with the lady who helped take care of V ,and moved him to daycare. For the last month, my mom stayed with us to settle things and she now, has gone back.

It has been two weeks since she left now, and the first week i had a very very clingy son. One who would not let me step out of his line of vision, wanted me to accompany him everywhere holding hands. While it was very mushy to begin with, it became quite difficult and i figured there is something beyond a regular clinging here. So , a week ago, i decided to straighten things and made him sit down and talk.

I asked him why he was being so clingy, i told him that while it was nice to want me to be around all the time, it is not possible and maybe we should figure out what he should do all by himself. He quietly listened and said, " i am sad because ammamma( my mom) went away".

That moment, it all came together. It was not just ammamma, it was the fear of having people he likes around him and them moving away. First it was valiamma( the lady who took care of him), and now my mom. Then we talked about why mom had to go away etc. and he seemed to understand.

There was still something that bothered me after that conversation. I held him on my lap and asked him " Are you scared that me and papa will go away as well? ". He nodded, like, a huge worry was being addressed.

I hugged him and told him that no matter what happens, we, will never leave him. That our life was with him. Wherever we go, we will take him with us. The relief on his face was immense.

One week now after the conversation, and i have a child who accepts and understands why and how.

All he needed to be told was that " We will be there for you- always".

Incidentally, isn't that what all of us want to be told?

As was once said by Kahlil Gibran ---"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"