To someone special....

To the one..

Who had the chubbiest cheeks ever as a kid...

Who refused to walk at age five, used to being carried around all the time...

Who cried buckets over not completing homework, while i barely glanced at it.

Who managed to ALWAYS tear pajama bottoms!!

Who ran out of the house when visitors came in...

Who has inherited the accountants genes..

Who i first confided my love to...

Who poked me to death till i told my parents about me and TB...

Who bullied and blackmailed TB , still does...

Who never gives up...

Who constantly fought with mom about our age gap...

Who thinks the world of V, and spoilt him rotten till age two.

Who i miss a lot when i really need to speak to someone , other than TB...

Who finally found her prince charming, and is living her dream.


Happy Birthday little sis, you are, and always be my first kid.

And i miss having you around!

Growing up to be an elder brother.

No....we are not having another kid. At least not that i know of.

But V certainly seems to be growing to like being an elder brother, from what we have been seeing. For the last one week we had his cousin, TB's brothers daughter at home.

She is about two and half years old, is constantly talking and singing, and is a complete character on her own. I had my own apprehensions about how V will react when she is here. Of course, they talk to each other on the phone every week and proclaim love, send kisses and all that stuff, but having her actually play with his toys is a totally different matter altogether.

So they came, and V started out by being the indulgent brother and handed over the cars and the assortment of vehicles he had, and promply hid his new favourite car. She ignored all of that and went for his older soft toys, that had been stowed away to be given off.
Suddenly, all those toys he had not even glanced at in the last two years, became favourites!

Well..., it got better over the days, eventhough we had instances of V telling her " you are not my sister, give my toy back" and she refusing to acknowledge V's" you are my sister na, please give me that toy" about 50 times in a day.

We also had instances of " this is my mom, not your aunt", " this is my uncle, not your dad" through the days.

But overall, it was not as bad as i expected. Both of them, despite being on loggerheads seem to have figured out that their love is here to stay, and these are just temporary issues.
It was worth watching D crawl into the bed with V and try and wake him up. Even better to see two bright and eager faces emerge from the bedroom holding hands, saying " goo mornim" to all and sundry , including the washing machine on the way.

By the time they left yesterday, they had settled well enough to play with each other for hours together, without any intervention from us. V for sure was not keen on letting her go, but he has extracted a surety from us that he goes home with TB's mom, who leaves in another two weeks.

I am so proud that V will make a fantastic elder brother. Like the one i always wanted , but never had. Now all we need is to make sure he has a younger sibling.

Now that, is a debatable issue. For now, he may have to make do with cousins.

A full house

I have a full house going on...7 adults and two kids below the age of 4 at home. And it has been great....

For a good part of the weekend, i was trying to put things away, make space, pull out sheets and pillows and covers for all of us.I freted and picked and packed and bought supplies and re arranged stuff till it drove me mad.

They arrived late evening, and promptly, all planning went out of the windows...there was stuff lying all around the house, unpacked bags, the kitchen counters full of stuff that had done the journey to find us.. the younger kid finding all the toys i had kept to give away, V staking claim to all of those toys he had not touched in a year , and general pandemonium.

I sat down and wondered what help was it to try and organize before chaos descended. Not much, it looked like.

But....i loved the pandemonium. It felt home. We spent half an hour before sleeptime fighting over " who will sleep where?". We finally ended up having the parents sleep in the spare bedroom, the men in front of the TV, and both the girls caught up on life whispering over sleeping kids.

The week promises to be fun:-)

Forgetting comes without trying...the fear lasts

It is almost a week after the carnage in Mumbai and we have moved on..well, almost. We are back at work, at school, and are worried about the cabs going off roads from tomorrow..

But this time, it has not been easy. It IS not easy...the fear, the paranoia has stayed on.

On monday morning, the train was eerily silent. Unknown people did not smile at each other,did not abuse the crowd and it stung.
If the train stopped for more than a minute, worried heads looked out to see why, - has there been another incident?
If a phone was answered with a concerned " what?", everyone perked up to know the rest of conversation...did something happen?
On a regular day in mumbai locals, no one bothered, even if you would have been announcing divorce over the phone!. This time, it is different.

Three days i stayed home, glued to television, starting from 10.00 PM on 26/11.I read and re read the papers, every piece of article written. I wanted to slap mainstream media for their irresponsible coverage. I read my thoughts here, here and here. And several more thought provoking ones like this, this and this.

We were to take V for the Disney Show, and found it difficult to explain why Mickey was not coming to see him. He solved my dilemma, by asking me if it was because of the fire he saw on TV..the fireman was " pouring water- so how will mickey come?". He also added " Mama, don't watch gunfighting and fire today, ok?"
I switched off the TV, went down with him to the park and thanked god for my life.

TB went to work when the rest of the city was scampering back to the safety of their homes. He spent the nights there....and came back to his family three days later.
I think it was right of him to do that...his guests needed the moral support. To trust in this city, in our genuine concern.

I received several messages asking to light candles, to rally and so on. I did light a candle, on 27th night, and prayed that the people still held captive may live to see another dawn.
And no, i did not light any other candle to show my solidatiy for the city, i did not join in any peace march, nothing.

I CARE, as much or maybe more.
But this time, i do not just want to light a candle and show my solidarity. I want to be able to contribute, to help, to be the change i want to see. As a citizen, i do not know what i can do. And that, i think is the biggest failure of our nation.

The biggest let down of all, has been the way the people who are supposedly leading us have acted during this entire episode.
-From our president who thought her presence was not required as the goverment was capable- capable of what????
-Our PM and leader of opposition could not even agree to travelling together!
-The cheif minister, who decided to make this a picnic,
-the home minister whose words of wisdom will not be forgotten too soon,
- a CM elsewhere who fell below his level by retorting at the family of a brave soldier thus. Grief is very personal.
"Mr. CM, grief is very very personal, unless i ask you to share mine, please do not trespass"- will someone please say that to all the polilicians??including this chameleon?

Everyone i know has either a friend, a relative , an acquaintance of someone they know who has been there during the ordeal...we spend the non working hours talking about the various narratives we hear..some real, some untrue, some rumours....

Of course, in another few days, we will forget and get back with bickering on trains. Marine Drive and Gateway will have its nocturnal visitors again...

As i step out to work each day , all i pray for now is to be able to come home in the evening and share the day with my loved ones.That is all i need for now, and ever.

Yeah ...just about a zillion times

I spent the first few months of marriage with TB's family, away from TB, for various reasons- (another story, another day).

Of course, it hurt that TB was away, but I have to admit that i enjoyed those few months. What is known of them as a family is thanks to that quality time. All the weight that I still carry around is also thanks to that.
-All of them love food. From a family that eats to survive, it was quite a change.
- Cooking up treats is a way of showing how much they love you. I got tons of both—love, and treats.

Another very interesting discovery was that TB’s dad has dozens of old movies, collected over years. Actually, he likes to collect a lot of things, anything that fancies him to be precise. And----he loves watching them again and again. I think I ended up watching “Lawrence of Arabia” about 52 times, or maybe more!

-Please note…dad with tell you the technical aspects of each scene in the movie, how it was made and every trivia you never knew existed. About 52 times over!

-And---he falls asleep in between the movie, while you are trying to pay attention for the 52nd time. Wakes up to figure out that he missed about twenty minutes of the movie, rewinds that part and starts again. Falls asleep-misses part of movie-wakes up- rewind-watches missed part-falls asleep- misses part of movie….you get it.
Technically, I think I must have watched some parts of the movie about 326 times.

- He also likes to quote anecdotes/ real life stories. And he will have one ready for most situations, for most events, people, and everything that matter. And! You will hear these every time that specific topic is broached, which is very often- it is quite a large family, and all of them love to talk. So when he starts an anecdote, all of us know exactly what story is, who the cast of characters are, what happened etc. And since it is harmless, no one actually reminds him that they have heard this about 100 times before. Let the man have his say.

Now, why is this significant? Here’s why----

TB looks like his dad
- Has the same features( I dread the pot belly, which is on an aggressive growth path right now)
- Is as or maybe more stubborn.
- Can sit straight up and sleep comfortably( complete- with snores)
- Loves perfumes.
- Loves food. Thinks eating healthy = non vegetarian food everyday
- Loves collecting movies – some never get watched- actually never get opened at all.
- Collects things just because it fancies him, though he may never use them after that first wave of fancy dies.
- And gives them away to people who ask for it, just like dad does (I know of several people who have their homes set up thanks to dad).

And….most importantly,

-Repeats stories- since I do not have the patience and perseverance that TB’s mom does, I am trying not to chuckle and remind him that I have heard this one before, just about a zillion times.
- Falls asleep during movies- misses part of movie- wakes up- rewinds, watches missed part- falls asleep again- misses ………. How?????

Whoever said that genes do not pass on habits, lied- blatantly.

Inheritances in health

Every family seems to inherit a lot from their elders, especially when it comes to health, and more specifically ill health and allergies.
My sister has completely taken over from mom. She has the slight wheezing/ skin ailments that mom has, and it has been there as long as i can remember.
I had exhibited all possibilities of inheriting all the unwanted stuff from dad. My systems are all screwed up starting from neck to the top( the brain is not included). Tonsilitis( from dad), blocked nose if i as much stand before an A/C( from dad?) and all associated stuff. These are from age 5 , so the family is kind of used to the fact that i am sneezing away to glory most of the year, and my sister is heavily moisturizing her ankles, even in monsoon.
For the last one year , a new phenomenon has started, i wake up with an arbid blocked nose, that transpires into a heavy throat pain, and my voice changes-sometimes i even sound like TB- and in about three days, lose my voice completely.
Not nice at all, considering that-
-I love talking.
-My job involves talking, most of the day.
- I love singing along with the radio.
- The doc seems to have no idea why this happens- she suspects allergy!

Allergy? WTH, where did this come from?
" Family...please raise your hands those who have contributed this one to my genes"

PS: V seems to be inheriting his mothers legacy as of now...
-he gets a cold sitting with the car A/C on.
-has been treated with asthalin on three occassions in his four years of existence.
- that dark patch on his ankle may turn out to be rough skin( god forbid!)
Maybe i should end the list here.Period!

If only.

We are excellent candidates for the "TATA SKY" ad that has been doing rounds for a while now. Only thing i am not too sure is " if it is going to keep us together" at this rate.

For a family of three, we spend way too much time in front of the idiot box. That stupid thing, along with the DVD player, and now the X box, has completely taken over our family time. TB comes back, plops in front of the TV and starts watching something on either of the first two, or more recently, starts playing some game( add son who is catching on very fast). All this, while we get about 2 hours in a day, as family!

No niceties, no playing with kid, no asking each other about the day, to talking to each other. I might as well have been living in another house, i might as well have been non existent. I see V trying get our( i use the word "we" very loosely here) attention by doing something he should not. So that we at least notice.

I am not sure how this works with others.Of course, all of us work hard, come home to unwind and DEFINITELY need some form of relaxation. I do not disagree with that. I see us turning into one of those houses that we look down on...buying love with money and materials, and never through quality time with each other. I could watch that movie again at some stage in life- these days with V and each other will never come back again.

If only we learn to appreciate what we have in life when it is still there....

Not really the nuclear family types

There is something very comforting about walking into a house filled with loved one's. I just had to say that.

In our early days of marriage,the worst part of the day was coming back from work and opening the door to an empty , dark house. It always depressed me, till TB came home, or something equally interesting happened. I think partly the reason why we decided to have V is because it became too much( or too less) to handle after a point in time.

After V happened to us, one thing i always look forward to every working day, is the smile that breaks on V's face when he seems me on the other side of the door.I can remember that moment for the last three and half years-the toothless grins and gurgles, the wobbly unsteady legs holding my hand and walking me to the sofa from the door.

And now, as soon as i ring the bell---i hear all these noises in the very same order. It is like the tonic to all my ailments
-a very audible gasp
- a loud " amma has come!"- in that very excited "OMG- i can't believe it!" tone
-noise of numerous things falling all over the house
-little hands fumbling with the locks
-shouting at valiamma to help when the safety lock is on
- chuckles from behind the half open door, waiting for me to act surprised and find him.

It feels like home!and all the troubles of the day magically dissappear.

The last few days, i go home and see my parents and V sitting around the room, drawing , painting, cutting and doing whatever a 4 year old would want to do. I just feels so nice to have loved one's around.

I have figured out i am not the type who really enjoys being a nuclear family..i need people around, my family, loved one's, and - the more the merrier!

Just some stuff about our life

Realized that i completely missed talking about of extended , eventful weekend. it was... very eventful.

TB and myself had taken the weekend off to show dad around the city. We went on a long drive to Lonavala on thursday. It was such a pleasure to get out of sveltering mumbai. We even had fog on the way back!Bought loads of chikki for the family and candies for son( and father, though he'll never admit that in public- remind me to tell his colleagues in the next party).
We came home by early evening and V started a temp. Got worse over night..i was dreading the convulsions and kept sponging him. Ran to the doc, who promptly told us to keep him home.
That was it!All our grand plans down the drain!

Adventurous couple we are, took the feverish, recovering child along for a small trip since we were feeling too guilty of having left dad all by himself last few days. V came home and crashed. The kid could take no more. The crash helped..he woke up the next day all bright and smiley, so we did most of our pre planned trips then. After a long, exhaustive day spent on the road/ rail and sea...V 's fever showed up again!!And he stayed home for the next two days..recuperating( theoretically..the term really does not apply to kids of his age).

I'll take a minute here and retrospect. Quite a lot of people will find it completely unacceptable that we carted around a not so well child for two days since we wanted to travel. Does that make us bad parents? I knew it was risky, but hey, we know where to draw the line...Moreover , i'd rather him have a not so protected life. Bad parents? Never! Risk takers? Sure, but planned one's. I''m just justifying our actions here. In case anybody is even remotely interested.

Back to other stuff..................
The next day morning, we dropped of dad at the airport for an early flight. We had to promise V bumper car rides to keep him from being a stowaway. He was even ready to sit inside his bag and go, if dad would as much agree with a nod. Well, bribery always works at this age, and we still have our kid at home:-)
Having a kid at home can be very useful when you need help ....

"s'il vous plaît répondre à mes commis de cuisine"( please meet my commis chef)




He's a fantastic commis, till he discovers that objectionable black thingie with buttons mom had hidden away!!!

Then he is of no help...he turns deaf and non existent in this house...."ye ther,c'mon fella..we've lots of work to do"



I swear i could almost hear him say" buzz off!"

Some other day...more about that "black thingie" slowly taking over my life.

"Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild" Welsh Proverb

We have granddad at home. Granddad and kiddo are thrilled to be with each other and are over the moon. And our status is life has taken a considerable beating!

TB has been reduced to being the driver of our car and me the in- house cook. Valiamma has been told by V to pack up and leave for her house.

Snooty little worm, this son of mine. I will let him have the pleasure of ignoring us till dad is here and them show him who the boss is.

Unfortunately, just about when realization will dawn on him, the other set of grandparents will land.

Then we (TB, myself and valiamma) become non existent.
-I will not even have the in house cook status -mom will take over kitchen!
-TB does not have to be driver-my parent’s idea of a vacation is staying indoors with V, indulging him. We’ll have to manhandle to get them to step out.
-Valiamma can vanish into thin air for all V cares- she is currently going through this depressing phase of “I think V does not like me anymore, because he does not need me to fuss around all the time”…now again, who is the kid here?

V wakes up asking for granddad, eats sleeps, plays- with grand dad, and is right now contemplating going back to Kerala when he returns next week. He does not even talk to me when I call!

Sob..sob! ………..Please excuse the cook while she sulks at her current state of affairs.

Today is.....

International Girl Child Day, not another of those innumerous days invented and promoted by greeting card companies. A day to promote very special cause.

I would like to believe that we do not need a day to promote a cause like this, but I am wrong , I know it. In a country where you can still read posters that go” Spend Rs. 600 now and save Rs. 50000 later”- referring to foetal sex determination test and avoidance of dowry in case of a girl child, I call myself fortunate.

Have I been a victim of gender discrimination? I have, though not a deliberate and forced one, it still did exist. My mother is the only girl in a brood of 5 that my grand mom had. When all her grandchildren turned out to be girls, she rooted for the grandson who was born the youngest. And in the process, she made us realize that gender discrimination was a reality in our lives. It would not have made a difference if he was treated especially because he was the youngest; it was always because he was a “boy”.
I still hold the discrimination against her. I guess that my strong feeling for being treated as a ‘girl’ had a lot to do with changing a slightly bewildered 12 year old to someone who stood up for my mother against the elders in out family. I was not a rebel; i was just asserting my identity. And till date, I know I was right in doing that. Mom does too.

I grew up in a generation of girls. 7 on my mother’s side and 8 on my father’s side. Each one of them completely different, capable, independent, successful, and over everything, special in their own way. Between all of us, we have a chemist/ a researcher, two bankers/ two engineers/ one consultant/ an entrepreneur/ a teacher/ and two wonderful women to prioritize family ahead of profession. I am proud, to say the least. Each of them have gone through their share of darkness in life and come out fighting,

Here are the women in my life I adore, love and cherish…

My mother is one of the most resilient women I have ever come across in my life. She was brilliant at maths, and regretted all her life for not having completed her education , and not being able to work. Life happened to her too fast. I was born when she was 21. She reminded me at every opportunity in life that I need to be independent, that I need to stand on my feet before anything else in life. I thrived on that. It was my single motivation at times. Who I am today, is because of her.

My sister is completely different from me, but is regarded by her family and friends as the one they can fall back on, anytime in life. She is gentle, compassionate, and very, very loving. And very good at what she does. She is just not as vocal. She approaches everything in life with meticulous planning. Having her in my life taught me to share, love , be compassionate, and above all, gave me a best friend for life.

TB’s mom and her sisters. They are most strong willed people I have met in my life. The four sisters are fighters, In true sense. They fought against life and each of them today, are retired professionals who came up from the most difficult circumstances in life. Their dad died a very proud man, that much I know. He could not have asked for better children. And I could not thank them enough for TB.

It would be unfair to stop this post if I do not talk about…..

My father, who stood up for me when I needed most- when the family wanted me to be married at 18, he chose to let me go away and study what I wanted to. We always had arguments when I was younger, I now realize (which my mom said long ago!) that it was because I was like him, in all senses. Where I am today in life, is because of him.

TB, the one person who gave me complete freedom in life to be myself, chose what I want to do, and never asked me why? Even when things went horribly wrong. He just stands by and tells me to get up and start again. He did not have an ego problem having a wife who was earning more than him at some point in life. Who has never imposed on me any of his personal interests. Growing up in a joint family with his mom and sisters is a lot of influence on a boy’s life. He respects women in a way that that is very rare.And loves me for the person I am, appearances never mattered to him.
My persona, my strength and individuality today, is because of him.

I know I have drifted considerably from where I started, but….It just seemed the day I needed to thank everyone for making my life so wonderful. I can’t help but feel as a fortunate girl child. There needs to be more of us. And none of those posters.

Whats in a name??

Whats in a name?...maybe everything, or nothing at all.
I read a post which commented about the names of Brad pitt and Angeline Jolie's latest twins, it said" while the son has a name that is as weird as that of a lot of celebrity kids , the daughter for a change , has a normal name"...hmmmm.... this topic intrigued me.

Lets start from the beginning. I was told that my name came out of a disagreement between my father and my grandmom, who could not agree on each other's choice, so they just combined both and named me. I should thank my stars that the word means something and does not sound as disjoint at a lot of names of my generation. It is traditional as it can get, and quite modern too.
For many years when i was a kid, i never liked my name( the fact that a very popular C grade actress had the same name caused much heartburn and ridicule). It took a very old Bishop lots of patience to talk me out of it. Maybe it has something to do with his talk, but names intrigue me. Sometimes, when i only have the name of a person, i try and put a personality to it. Why was he/ she named that ? what did the parents think? Sometimes it tells you a lot about what to expect..and something it turns out to be a complete blooper.

I think my generation suffers from having some of the worst possible names i have come across...the one's before that was very traditional, so they has names with meanings, and the current gereration seems to have returned to sanity after the brief experiment with our generation. I has classmates with the following names " Rasna"/ " Lorry"/ " Dreamsweetie"/ etc..and countless others with names that combined the elements of both parents names( this was the fad/ the IN thing), and sounded weird!The trauma of living with those names must be awful!
One of my little cousins almost became a victim of this...her parents realized before the naming ceremony that when they combined their names, the word that was formed exactly translated into....errrrrr" moustache"!!!!!!!!!!!and quickly found an alternative.

How do you classify a name as good and another as bad?At the end of the day, a name is very personal,as i have my own likes a dislikes when it comes to it. One of the reason's i said "yes" to TB , may also be because he has a very traditional sounding name..i just liked the ring of it. I love names that have a meaning, that are musical,and signify something. It just helps me associate that person with something tangible, maybe.

When we were expecting V, we dicussed names , as any parents to be would, ....i was quite sure it had to be a single word . We had a penchant for traditional Indian names, so V was called " Vishnu". I could not think of a more " all encompassing name",and thank fully, the family loved it.Between three cousins, we have four boys, and all their names mean the same. Says something about the family!

I wonder at times if having another name would have affected the course of events in my life? Probably not......Would it have affected the kind of person i am? Maybe yes...and i like mine exactly as it is today- name and life. I'll have to ask TB if he would have proposed , had i been known with a different name.... And then i will know if a name has any effect on course of life too....

Off non-veg

I turn vegetarian tomorrow....no, not forever. For 30 days, till the month of "karkkidakam" gets over. While there are traditional and religious reasons for this, and most of Kerala follows suit, i did not follow this till about a few years ago.

The tradition must have started for varied reasons, i'd like to believe that one of them is health as monsoon is not really the best time to indulge in non vegetarian food. Also, this is considered a time when food was scarce( this is the age before preserved foods came into picture) , and hence the order of month was eating frugally, resting your body and rejuvenating for the harvest months ahead and spending the remaining of the day in prayers.

My best memories of Karkkidakam are the day before the month, which is today...The house used to get scrubbed, dusted and polished. And in the evening, the dust collected , along with cobwebs, a broken earthern vessel, an old broom on a tattered woven basket was taken out of the house by our servant, who used to go far away from the house and throw away all the dirt for the year..and we used to chant for the " Goddess of dirt to go far away, and the Gooddess of cleanliness and goodness to come home". And for the next 30 days we worshipped the goddess of goodness inside the house.

Karkkidakam is also " Ramayana Masam" , where the epic is read at every house throughout the month. For us, that mean two readings,my ammamma used to read ramayana everyday, all through the year. Her reading ramayan was our signal for the end of the day; lights used to be switched off immediately after she finished. So in karkkidakam, there was one reading in the morning and one at night.

I wish i could read the ramayana - to myself and V. Considering the firefighting that we go through every day, that seems a remote possibility. I will still try..though i need a refersher from mom on where all i can start from and where i can stop during reading( those who do not know- you can't just open a page and read..there are rules to reading ramayan).

And go off non veg, for that is the closest i can get to eating frugally. So i am going to do exactly that. Last year TB volunteered to stay off non veg and managed that for exactly 72 hours...This year, he has volunteered again, and i am counting in hours.

Since the going has not been to great for the past few days, i decided to cheer myself up by putting down some of the stuff that i love doing as a family.

1. Long drives- TB drives, i navigate to try and get us to our destination, quite successfullymost of the time!


2. Singing aloud with the car stereo/ radio- We used to drive down to kerala from wherever we were and this was our entertainment. We decided to act grown up and decent after V entered the scene( parents, right)-V turned out to be a revelation- he sings louder, better and knows most of the lyrics..so now its a trio inside our small car. So if you ever pass by a car with three people singing on top of their voice, u know who it is:-)


3. Rolling around the bed once TB is back from work- We turn punching bags to V at this point of time..he jumps/ walks, rolls over us, sits on our head, shoulder, wherever, and basically makes a pulp out of any body part he can spot.

4. Watch Tom & Jerry cartoons. They are just amazing.....

5. Eating out: This one's a little messy...while V likes to go outside, he does not like eating- anything. So there is bit of a fight here , but its still fun.

6.Just being together and doing nothing, absolutely. V even makes sure we hold hands and sit when he is in one of his very Aquarian moods....

And to bring back reality...V went to playschool today after a weeks gap. And we are back to our morning screaming, crying and making up before leaving for school/ office.

Rains are here...

And we have rains in mumbai...earlier than predicted and bringing with it the gross misery of a city that is always underprepared for any amount of rains. I returned home last evening after a brief 30 min showers on the first day of monsoon and saw kids playing in waist high dirty water on the main road!!! and panicking drivers manoeuvering to avoid both kids and water.

I love rains!!back home our village is a picture of serenity after rains. Gleaming , freshly washed asphalt,the bushes and trees looking green and clean, and the occassional cicada and hoardes of frogs croaking from their hidden dens. Wonder what they do during summer?
Anyway..back to rains.. monsoon has this uncanny knack of pouring exactly when you are out on the road...on the way to school...during the lunch break and invariably, ten minutes before the school bell rings....
By the time we reach the last leg of out travel and walk home from the bus stop, it usually becomes a drizzle. I do not remember ever having opened an umbrella during a drizzle, esp when returning....there will be puddles to jump on...and clean the sandak slippers. We would stand under the bigger trees and wait for the wind to shake off the drops from the leaves.
On holidays we would pester amma for bhajji while watching the rain lashing outside and wash down the various fried vegetables with steaming chai. How i miss those days...

Of course i bought myself a new umbrella and a bright raincoat for V and mentally prepared for the rains. I even took V out for the first shower of monsoon...he inaugurated his raincoat and i did my umbrella...and we just stood savouring the rain.
Somehow the rains here seem to be a different animal altogether! I can't seem to associate all those pictures i portrayed earlier with rains here..I am worried about traffic snarls, trains getting delayed, about flooding on the roads, contigency plans ( TB thinks i am going paranoid- i tend to
agree most of the times). And what i saw yesterday seems to fit into my worries perfectly well.

At office we are back to spending the first twenty minutes dicussing travails of travelling in monsoon and sharing our daring experiences of just trying to get home....

Despite all this..i love rains and hope that someday i will live in a place that lets me savour rains as they are.

TB and i are in a juncture where we have mentally prepared to take a step we have eluded for quite some years.....buying a flat. It never looked possible before, not till we went for the house warming and liked that flat in the same apartment. Once we wanted to go ahead and buy it..all the (imaginary) problems that i had envisioned over time just seems non existent.
Now i am wondering why did we not do this before.
This is the second time in life that this thought has occured to me...the first was when we decided to start a family....i used to be scared of the idea of having a baby.....i was not sure if we would be good parents..if we will have enough finances...if everything will go well. It was always the "if".
Once the baby bug bit us( guess we got tired of working and watching TV and eating late dinners)....the "if's " magically dissappeared. Having a baby was the perfect thing to do. Then the anxiousness sets in...
It is always that way..it takes years to make up our mind to do something. Once we do make up our minds, it feels impossible to even wait days for it to happen.
Right now i am in that phase.....having waited all these years to make that decision, these few days while the bank decides whether we are creditworthy to be given a loan, seems like forever.
I am anxious.....as hell!