I am a coward

Like zillions of other people in Mumbai, who spent yesterday in the safe confines of their home, instead of doing what they should have been doing- only, i was not at home. I went to work, not because I chose to be brave and defy fear, because I did not know the situation till I got to office. I was in the train, when I started receiving calls from colleagues and family asking if everything was fine. That is when I knew what to expect for the day, and panic set in. Walked out of the train to a station teeming with cops and called myself lucky to get a cab.

At 11.00 AM, we had three men walk into our office, asking us to leave and down the shutters for the day (modern building that we are, we do not even have a roll down shutter!). We spent the remainder of the day in an office, with doors and windows shut from outside, lights dimmed out and the TV on, watching mayhem break around the city.
All of us made numerous calls to family and loved ones, checking they were safe, and planning our strategy to get back home. We saw cabs being stoned at , auto’s being stopped and vandalized and miscreants ruling the road. At two thirty PM, when the road outside was safer to travel, we left office, and reached home- all the while feeling- like an absolute coward.

What should I be doing? Take this fear lying down? This is the second time this year that Mumbai shut down due to fear…and frankly, if it repeats – I might just do the same thing again------------ Be meek, scared, avoid confrontation, run away from the truth and act like it is none of my problem till I am directly affected by it, even when rage boils inside.

This entire series of events over the last few months have eroded my faith and affection for Mumbai as the cosmopolitan city it was. The public have been made into puppets…it’s a game out there, and I do not know who is right or wrong, who I should support, or better still, Who will support public in times of need?. Public here does not refer to marathi’s or bihari’s or UP’ites, or bengali’s . It is just ALL OF US. The entire bunch of people who call Mumbai their home.

Who says it is the prerogative of a native community to exercise control over the local geography? If so, we should have not even welcomed modernization, leave alone globalization. For the last 50 odd years, we have accepted people of all geographies, caste, creed and community across cities in the country. Where did this “love for my state” arise from? Does that mean the rest of the cities in the country follow suit?
So we will have Delhi/ Bangalore/ Chennai/ Kolkata/ Hyderabad / Pune revolting against non locals working there? Insane! Should we also have the Non local business houses / institutions shut shop and move to their home states?? Now that would be a pretty picture!

We are going back to pre independence era. If anyone ever wants to take over our country, now is the right time.Come on all of you-we are too busy fighting with each other to even take notice.

I have ranted, vented out my feelings here and am running away from the problems with my tail tucked under, as cowardly as ever. I am one of those faceless mumbaikars who are angry , but too scared to stand up for what is right. I hate myself for that!