Break point

When two people have been married for a for a while, do they start accepting each others shortcomings as normal, or does that lie as an undercurrent in the relationship, waiting to explode at the opportune moment?

I'd like to believe in acceptance.

I always wonder What makes people walk away from a relationship of years? What is the breaking point?

5 years ago, after a fight with my husband, i'd be angry, frustrated and counting minutes through the night. Planning revenge,plotting strategy to walk out of the house and not return. Now,after a decent fight, i go to bed with the knowledge that this too shall pass, and that we are very normal.

But when i hear about friends and random people breaking up after being together for years,i worry.I could never imagine the generation before us decideing to go their seperate ways citing reasons that our generation does.

" We are not compatible"- after 8 years of marriage , and "She does not understand me" after a decade and two kids sounds very very scary.

Are relationships so fickle now? There are some basic fundamentals that i consider sacrosanct.

>>Infidelity: can be never accepted in a relation.

>>Respect: The spouse could be anyone professionally, but respect for the person is essential.

>>Honesty/ trust: if we are a unit,unless i know what the other parts are capable and are doing, work cannot be in tandem.

Maybe i am just an aberration-but to me, all other aspects can be worked on.

5 years down the line,this ideal may come back to bite me in the butt- they always do. I guess i need to work really hard to ensure that my break point is very very far away.

I do not ever want to be among the scores who say " it's just not working out", all the while cringing for the child who is always the one to lose.