Working Mom

Today V woke up while i was sneaking him a goodbye kiss before rushing off....since we have got back from the holiday, he sleeps till he pleases....I promptly pulled the covers around him and told him to go back to sleep. But no!today he decides we has to wake up and mama should hold him.

There i was ..torn between holding him for a while and missing the 9.00 AM local. It is at moments like this that i am forced to re examine my decision to be a working mom...which i did on the way to station.

Well..i did hold him for a while and told him that he can have me all to himself for the next two days and make plans for what we could do....finally he decided i better get going and said.."mama bye, go to office",so i ran.



Below is the transcript of the conversations between my ego and alter ego on the way to the station....

E: Maybe i should resign and stay at home like most of my friends now....

E: It would be wonderful to be at home and spend quality time with V. i can actually get down to doing some real cooking and make what TB and V likes.

E: I could start doing that embroidering lessons that i have always wanted to do...find a music teacher for V , take him swimming, and maybe actually start exercising ( highly required).

E: I will not even need a full time maid!I can maybe redo the house, and turn it around to those near perfect houses in magazines...

AE: Well, what happens to the finances???

E: Hmmm...maybe i can start consulting form home..Once we are more stable..then maybe i could quit.

E: Maybe i could do this when we plan our next kid( five year plan as of now). That sounds good...i have never been much of a career woman anyway. Happy with what is there right now..never imagined myself in the corridors of power, in any organization.

AE: Are you ready to give up your friends, colleagues, your clients..bosses..the pleasure of accomplishing a task and be appreciated for that??

AE: Think of the recognition that your work brings you....are you ready to give up that identity and be happy as a homemaker and a mom?

E: Not sure!

AE: What happens when V grows up? has friends of his own and does not need you around all the time? Will you still feel the same way or want to get back to working?

E: Maybe i will want to..and i would not know where to look at.

AE: So you still want to quit?

E:I can see the glee on V's face when i tell him i do not have office today..i could quit for just once of those smiles...

AE: Is this about quitting or is this guilt for not being able to spend time with V?

E: I guess it is guilt.

AE: Plan your day better...make time for him. It is more about what you do when you are with him rather that how long you are with him.Right now, it could be better.

E: Yeah...maybe your'e right...



Station arrives, and lo behold! the 9.00 AM local is just lugging in...The debate is over for now, and i am still a guilt ridden , very independent, working mom again. Love you V!!