Birthdays...to or not to?

V had another party to attend yesterday evening. So the dutiful mother frantically rushes back from work, and takes him to the party lest he misses all the fun.......(and the cake, and the return gift)..excuse me, who is this cheapo talking in between??. We do not attend parties for material benefits. I digress, sorry.

Parties get me worked up. I usually find them as a platform to express the family's status quo( i guess that is the right word). The venue, the number of children you invite, the parents dress - not just the childs, the cake design, the event organizers, the games played, the food served all are taken as indications. And of course, the now mandatory return gift. The whole idea scares the hell out of me..

V is three this year, and has had one birthday party( so called) till date. The first two years we felt he was too young to understand the concept..who are we really celebrating for? The parents of course. And our way of celebrating ALWAYS, is family and close friends. So the first year, we had my sister and V's godparents take him out to his ( our) favourite lakeside restaurant and generally fool round.

The highlight of his second birthday was the breakfast we had at the old age home near our place. We did not have any elders staying with us and wanted to share our special day with some one. So we went across to the old age home nearby and asked them if we could have a special breakfast for all the elders there and could we be a part of it? They agreed, and we worked out the menu and cost etc.
On his birthday, we reached the place and sat down with all of them and had our breakfast. The most special moment was when they thanked god for the food for the day and wished V and sang " Happy Birthday". I almost cried. I will never forget seeing 100 elderly people, all above 60 , sing for my son. He was thrilled, he walked around, spoke to them in his own language and must have been kissed by each one of them. One of them, and lady who does not mingle with anyone , kept asking to hold him and he of course was more than willing. Her nurse kept hovering around, she just sat there with him, and when we left, got up and went back without eating a morsel of her food.
PS: Before we moved cities, we again had dinner with the entire old lot. I am not sure who was more happy to see each other. When we told them we were moving away, all of them wished us. We count our blessings!

Then the third birthday. We were in a new city and V wanted a party. By then he knew that party means fun, and was not planning to let go of that. Panic struck!
What do i do? Who all do i call?Cake? gift? Decorations? Chaos!
Having a husband in the service industry works well in such occassions...the cake is always taken care of and impeccable!
We decided to call the few kids that V plays with and we know well enough. And we had my parents visiting. So the party consisted of about 5 kids and their moms( the man species is perennially absent from all these social activities. Hail women, for holding together the slender thread of socializing)- i don't know what i just wrote, please ignore. Decorations by inhouse designers( self / mom / dad), cake by TB, and specific gifts for each of the kids( only 5).
The cake was to die for and the kids rocked. They just took on and gave the party life. Mom's sat around lauding our lives!

So when i walked into this party yesterday, i was hoping i'll find familiar faces, just be my tired haggard self( show me someone who looks good after 12 hours of work and 4 hours of commute- TB does not count).
I was pleasantly surprised..the same gang of mom's , instead of 5 kids, now there are 6 in the group, so six of us..same kids and i felt instantly at home. So we sat and munched on all the yummy, unhealthy party food, while the kids ran around the house supervised by the bithday girls grandmother who took control of the kiddie situation. Good Fun!

Do i like going to birthday parties? Only if i know them well enough to walk in and just be myself.
Do i want to have a birthday party for V next year?..needs some serious thought. I can have his friends over, and let them have some fun, and give me panic attacks.
But i definitely do not want a party done professionally, at a venue, with numerous kids i have no clue who. Not my cuppa tea folks. We'll stick to home parties.