Today is.....

International Girl Child Day, not another of those innumerous days invented and promoted by greeting card companies. A day to promote very special cause.

I would like to believe that we do not need a day to promote a cause like this, but I am wrong , I know it. In a country where you can still read posters that go” Spend Rs. 600 now and save Rs. 50000 later”- referring to foetal sex determination test and avoidance of dowry in case of a girl child, I call myself fortunate.

Have I been a victim of gender discrimination? I have, though not a deliberate and forced one, it still did exist. My mother is the only girl in a brood of 5 that my grand mom had. When all her grandchildren turned out to be girls, she rooted for the grandson who was born the youngest. And in the process, she made us realize that gender discrimination was a reality in our lives. It would not have made a difference if he was treated especially because he was the youngest; it was always because he was a “boy”.
I still hold the discrimination against her. I guess that my strong feeling for being treated as a ‘girl’ had a lot to do with changing a slightly bewildered 12 year old to someone who stood up for my mother against the elders in out family. I was not a rebel; i was just asserting my identity. And till date, I know I was right in doing that. Mom does too.

I grew up in a generation of girls. 7 on my mother’s side and 8 on my father’s side. Each one of them completely different, capable, independent, successful, and over everything, special in their own way. Between all of us, we have a chemist/ a researcher, two bankers/ two engineers/ one consultant/ an entrepreneur/ a teacher/ and two wonderful women to prioritize family ahead of profession. I am proud, to say the least. Each of them have gone through their share of darkness in life and come out fighting,

Here are the women in my life I adore, love and cherish…

My mother is one of the most resilient women I have ever come across in my life. She was brilliant at maths, and regretted all her life for not having completed her education , and not being able to work. Life happened to her too fast. I was born when she was 21. She reminded me at every opportunity in life that I need to be independent, that I need to stand on my feet before anything else in life. I thrived on that. It was my single motivation at times. Who I am today, is because of her.

My sister is completely different from me, but is regarded by her family and friends as the one they can fall back on, anytime in life. She is gentle, compassionate, and very, very loving. And very good at what she does. She is just not as vocal. She approaches everything in life with meticulous planning. Having her in my life taught me to share, love , be compassionate, and above all, gave me a best friend for life.

TB’s mom and her sisters. They are most strong willed people I have met in my life. The four sisters are fighters, In true sense. They fought against life and each of them today, are retired professionals who came up from the most difficult circumstances in life. Their dad died a very proud man, that much I know. He could not have asked for better children. And I could not thank them enough for TB.

It would be unfair to stop this post if I do not talk about…..

My father, who stood up for me when I needed most- when the family wanted me to be married at 18, he chose to let me go away and study what I wanted to. We always had arguments when I was younger, I now realize (which my mom said long ago!) that it was because I was like him, in all senses. Where I am today in life, is because of him.

TB, the one person who gave me complete freedom in life to be myself, chose what I want to do, and never asked me why? Even when things went horribly wrong. He just stands by and tells me to get up and start again. He did not have an ego problem having a wife who was earning more than him at some point in life. Who has never imposed on me any of his personal interests. Growing up in a joint family with his mom and sisters is a lot of influence on a boy’s life. He respects women in a way that that is very rare.And loves me for the person I am, appearances never mattered to him.
My persona, my strength and individuality today, is because of him.

I know I have drifted considerably from where I started, but….It just seemed the day I needed to thank everyone for making my life so wonderful. I can’t help but feel as a fortunate girl child. There needs to be more of us. And none of those posters.