Of birthdays and Star birthdays...

Between my birthdate last weekend, V's Star birthday early this week, my star birthday today and V's Birthdate in another two weeks....I usually end up wondering which is the right date to celebrate??

This two birthday thingie is strange...i end up being wished twice( which is quite nice), i end up thanking lots of people twice( over phone message), and treating the divided population twice( expensive!)

TB does not fall into either category. His category is called " I knew it was on XX date,but i just missed wishing on that date. Sorry..you know how busy it is"

And i don't even get a decent celebration, thanks to the confusion! How bad can that be?

Need to find ONE day mutually agreeable to the divided population.

....Love is what makes the ride worthwhile

Dear TB,

Eight years of marriage…feels like a life time. Wonder how it feels to be together when we are together for 50 years. We’ll maybe just wait to find out.

For our eight years together, here are eight songs….Why these 8, if you may ask?
They just remind me of US. I guess that is reason enough.

So here they are, in no order….

“Looks like we made it…” by Shania Twain

This song, totally! We did not have a controversial marriage by any means…there was love, family and lots and lots of faith. For everything that we have been through in the last 8 years…Look how far we’ve come, my baby.

“Somethin’ Stupid…” Frank Sinatra/ Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman

Now this one is your song. For those years when you disguised you love under friendship and never once told me. When you chaperoned me for my dates, and prayed silently that i would get over my crush for someone else. For standing by when my heart was unceremoniously broken. For never proposing, fearing it would even end our friendship. What would have happened to us, if it had not been for that fateful bus trip? I always wonder…..

I thank god for friends who take liberty, and that life changing bus journey.

“I want to stand with you on a mountain…” Savage Garden

There are days when I hate you. When I feel instant divorces should be a reality. Times when I feel I am being taken for granted. When I want to walk out of the house leaving everything behind. Just so you know how life will be without me around.
But those are just 6.5 days out of 365 days in a year. This song is for the remaining days of the year.

When we are older, and been married for maybe 50 years, maybe we could bring the 6.5 days to 6.5 hours..?
”…….i want to live like this forever, until the sky falls down on me”

“Where do I begin…”Andy Williams

Our love story…forever. This song has been around for ever, but none of them say it as well.
“……When I reach out my hands for you, it is always there”

OMG! I think I am beginning to become romantic after 30!!

“I don’t wanna miss a thing…” Aerosmith

Just as the song….

“The best of me…”Bryan Adams

You always get the best of me. And errr..sometimes the worst too… guess it comes as a package.

“ Life’s a highway….” Rascal Flatts

And the drive gets better with you along......taking turns, cutting through edges, swerving, balancing , singing along….and overall, enjoying this drive.

“When you say nothing at all…” Ronan Keating

Sometimes words are just not needed. The look, the smile, the nudge, the reassuring hand, says more than the word. And you know what, those moments stay forever in memory….to be lived over and over again.
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PS: Just realized most of the songs have been sung by a man for a woman. Does that make it inappropriate for me to dedicate them? Not that I care…just so you know:-)

You, and the tiny little fingers holding my other hand are my reason for life, and love, and happiness. Just don’t let go off my hands, ever!

Yeah ...just about a zillion times

I spent the first few months of marriage with TB's family, away from TB, for various reasons- (another story, another day).

Of course, it hurt that TB was away, but I have to admit that i enjoyed those few months. What is known of them as a family is thanks to that quality time. All the weight that I still carry around is also thanks to that.
-All of them love food. From a family that eats to survive, it was quite a change.
- Cooking up treats is a way of showing how much they love you. I got tons of both—love, and treats.

Another very interesting discovery was that TB’s dad has dozens of old movies, collected over years. Actually, he likes to collect a lot of things, anything that fancies him to be precise. And----he loves watching them again and again. I think I ended up watching “Lawrence of Arabia” about 52 times, or maybe more!

-Please note…dad with tell you the technical aspects of each scene in the movie, how it was made and every trivia you never knew existed. About 52 times over!

-And---he falls asleep in between the movie, while you are trying to pay attention for the 52nd time. Wakes up to figure out that he missed about twenty minutes of the movie, rewinds that part and starts again. Falls asleep-misses part of movie-wakes up- rewind-watches missed part-falls asleep- misses part of movie….you get it.
Technically, I think I must have watched some parts of the movie about 326 times.

- He also likes to quote anecdotes/ real life stories. And he will have one ready for most situations, for most events, people, and everything that matter. And! You will hear these every time that specific topic is broached, which is very often- it is quite a large family, and all of them love to talk. So when he starts an anecdote, all of us know exactly what story is, who the cast of characters are, what happened etc. And since it is harmless, no one actually reminds him that they have heard this about 100 times before. Let the man have his say.

Now, why is this significant? Here’s why----

TB looks like his dad
- Has the same features( I dread the pot belly, which is on an aggressive growth path right now)
- Is as or maybe more stubborn.
- Can sit straight up and sleep comfortably( complete- with snores)
- Loves perfumes.
- Loves food. Thinks eating healthy = non vegetarian food everyday
- Loves collecting movies – some never get watched- actually never get opened at all.
- Collects things just because it fancies him, though he may never use them after that first wave of fancy dies.
- And gives them away to people who ask for it, just like dad does (I know of several people who have their homes set up thanks to dad).

And….most importantly,

-Repeats stories- since I do not have the patience and perseverance that TB’s mom does, I am trying not to chuckle and remind him that I have heard this one before, just about a zillion times.
- Falls asleep during movies- misses part of movie- wakes up- rewinds, watches missed part- falls asleep again- misses ………. How?????

Whoever said that genes do not pass on habits, lied- blatantly.

Not really the nuclear family types

There is something very comforting about walking into a house filled with loved one's. I just had to say that.

In our early days of marriage,the worst part of the day was coming back from work and opening the door to an empty , dark house. It always depressed me, till TB came home, or something equally interesting happened. I think partly the reason why we decided to have V is because it became too much( or too less) to handle after a point in time.

After V happened to us, one thing i always look forward to every working day, is the smile that breaks on V's face when he seems me on the other side of the door.I can remember that moment for the last three and half years-the toothless grins and gurgles, the wobbly unsteady legs holding my hand and walking me to the sofa from the door.

And now, as soon as i ring the bell---i hear all these noises in the very same order. It is like the tonic to all my ailments
-a very audible gasp
- a loud " amma has come!"- in that very excited "OMG- i can't believe it!" tone
-noise of numerous things falling all over the house
-little hands fumbling with the locks
-shouting at valiamma to help when the safety lock is on
- chuckles from behind the half open door, waiting for me to act surprised and find him.

It feels like home!and all the troubles of the day magically dissappear.

The last few days, i go home and see my parents and V sitting around the room, drawing , painting, cutting and doing whatever a 4 year old would want to do. I just feels so nice to have loved one's around.

I have figured out i am not the type who really enjoys being a nuclear family..i need people around, my family, loved one's, and - the more the merrier!

Just some stuff about our life

Realized that i completely missed talking about of extended , eventful weekend. it was... very eventful.

TB and myself had taken the weekend off to show dad around the city. We went on a long drive to Lonavala on thursday. It was such a pleasure to get out of sveltering mumbai. We even had fog on the way back!Bought loads of chikki for the family and candies for son( and father, though he'll never admit that in public- remind me to tell his colleagues in the next party).
We came home by early evening and V started a temp. Got worse over night..i was dreading the convulsions and kept sponging him. Ran to the doc, who promptly told us to keep him home.
That was it!All our grand plans down the drain!

Adventurous couple we are, took the feverish, recovering child along for a small trip since we were feeling too guilty of having left dad all by himself last few days. V came home and crashed. The kid could take no more. The crash helped..he woke up the next day all bright and smiley, so we did most of our pre planned trips then. After a long, exhaustive day spent on the road/ rail and sea...V 's fever showed up again!!And he stayed home for the next two days..recuperating( theoretically..the term really does not apply to kids of his age).

I'll take a minute here and retrospect. Quite a lot of people will find it completely unacceptable that we carted around a not so well child for two days since we wanted to travel. Does that make us bad parents? I knew it was risky, but hey, we know where to draw the line...Moreover , i'd rather him have a not so protected life. Bad parents? Never! Risk takers? Sure, but planned one's. I''m just justifying our actions here. In case anybody is even remotely interested.

Back to other stuff..................
The next day morning, we dropped of dad at the airport for an early flight. We had to promise V bumper car rides to keep him from being a stowaway. He was even ready to sit inside his bag and go, if dad would as much agree with a nod. Well, bribery always works at this age, and we still have our kid at home:-)
Having a kid at home can be very useful when you need help ....

"s'il vous plaît répondre à mes commis de cuisine"( please meet my commis chef)




He's a fantastic commis, till he discovers that objectionable black thingie with buttons mom had hidden away!!!

Then he is of no help...he turns deaf and non existent in this house...."ye ther,c'mon fella..we've lots of work to do"



I swear i could almost hear him say" buzz off!"

Some other day...more about that "black thingie" slowly taking over my life.

I wish...

I am fairly egoistic! I have to admit that..i put my foot down on what i believe to be right, with anyone. I may not be right always, but who is anyway? TB is equally egoistic. The man runs his share of the world and it is quite normal to be so.
The problem usually is , when there is an argument- most of the time- the real reason for the argument dissappeares over a spate of accusations and then the egos clash. And when egos step in, it stops being a argument , and morphes into something very personal, and both sides refuse to give up.
I hate that! Arguments should remain arguments. Is it beyond common human nature to wish that we stick to the problem in perspective and not add dimensions to it? I hope not...
That is my wish for the day! For us to be able to seperate our arguments and egos. Life would be so much simple!

I prefer it this way

Everyday, when I get home, I get greeted by general pandemonium. There are toys on the floor, on the table and every part of the house. You cannot walk without tripping over crayons and a million other knick knacks strewn around. On top of that, there is a 3 and half year old flying out of the door to jump onto me. The radio is playing, so is his keyboard, where he has managed to press a key so far down that the single note is playing non stop.

All I need by then is some rest. I am dying to sit down, take off my footwear, take a shower, and feel like a human being again. All hopes of that get quashed when V decides that now is the opportune moment for him to bring out the coloring book. I am forced to sit down with him, and comment on each picture.
There are days when I wish V would sleep before I reach home (that sounded quite mean, even to me) and I could get some well deserved r.e.s.t

Two days ago, V was asleep when I got home. Just my luck!. I did all that I wanted to, took medicines for my bad throat, which my doctor has affectionately labeled as follicular tonsillitis, and warned as contagious.
I settled down and waited for TB to arrive, and instead of feeling quite relaxed about having all the time to myself, I was MISERABLE! .In about half an hour, I went from miserable to desperate and was contemplating waking up V. I just could not handle the silence.
Thankfully TB arrived soon. We had dinner and settled into the sofa and watched TV for a while…After some time, TB said ‘the house is so quite , and lifeless’. Totally so!

I would prefer the pandemonium any day, as opposed to this silence. Being a parent has rendered me incapable of a sedentary lifestyle. …..and I am not complaining.

Sleepy ..and croaking!

We have caught the virus...V and myself. I am quite convinced that this one came in from V's school and firmly planted itself in his nose and throat.

In between the numerous slurpy kisses and half chewed stuff he lovingly offers me everyday, some of the virus found way into my throat too( if this description sounds too yucky! to you, run far away from this blog).

So now i am croaking, and dreading the thought of eating. My tonsils are giving food a hard time to go by and testing my endurance levels.

V is in the next stages... he has coughing fits and it scares the hell out of me. And they always, note always, start after you have finally put him to sleep and have just crashed. So last night, i was up at 1.26 AM, trying to figure out what to do to stop his cough( i couldn't even stand straight, forget thinking straight). So i gave him warm water and cough syrup, no luck!

If you have parents like mine, they will tell you little gems of information like "the best way to cure a dry cough is dry heat"- Which means heat pads on the chest. For the lesser souls like us, ironed towels on the chest. That is precisely what i was doing up at 1.26 AM. Ironing towels( trying not to iron my fingers in the process) and applying them to V's chest. This went on till about 2.18 AM, when V decided to call in a night( day?) and fall asleep. So did his mom, who still had to unplug the iron and put it back before crashing. And then struggle to get back to proper sleep.
So here i am today, sleepy, groggy( after 6 lozenges!), croaky( despite the lozenges) and quite ill tempered.
For those who are curious to know where the other parent was , all through this???.....He was RIGHT THERE!!!. On his side of the bed, which is about 10 inches away from all this action. He woke up to find out what the commotion was all about, appreciated my efforts on childcare with a 'huh?' and promptly went back to snoring. I am now wondering what made me keep quite?I am pretty sure i wasn't capable of thinking.

Next time, he gets to iron. He irons his shirts better than i do...guess it is only natural that he gets to do what he is better at. Even if it is at 1.26 AM.

Today is.....

International Girl Child Day, not another of those innumerous days invented and promoted by greeting card companies. A day to promote very special cause.

I would like to believe that we do not need a day to promote a cause like this, but I am wrong , I know it. In a country where you can still read posters that go” Spend Rs. 600 now and save Rs. 50000 later”- referring to foetal sex determination test and avoidance of dowry in case of a girl child, I call myself fortunate.

Have I been a victim of gender discrimination? I have, though not a deliberate and forced one, it still did exist. My mother is the only girl in a brood of 5 that my grand mom had. When all her grandchildren turned out to be girls, she rooted for the grandson who was born the youngest. And in the process, she made us realize that gender discrimination was a reality in our lives. It would not have made a difference if he was treated especially because he was the youngest; it was always because he was a “boy”.
I still hold the discrimination against her. I guess that my strong feeling for being treated as a ‘girl’ had a lot to do with changing a slightly bewildered 12 year old to someone who stood up for my mother against the elders in out family. I was not a rebel; i was just asserting my identity. And till date, I know I was right in doing that. Mom does too.

I grew up in a generation of girls. 7 on my mother’s side and 8 on my father’s side. Each one of them completely different, capable, independent, successful, and over everything, special in their own way. Between all of us, we have a chemist/ a researcher, two bankers/ two engineers/ one consultant/ an entrepreneur/ a teacher/ and two wonderful women to prioritize family ahead of profession. I am proud, to say the least. Each of them have gone through their share of darkness in life and come out fighting,

Here are the women in my life I adore, love and cherish…

My mother is one of the most resilient women I have ever come across in my life. She was brilliant at maths, and regretted all her life for not having completed her education , and not being able to work. Life happened to her too fast. I was born when she was 21. She reminded me at every opportunity in life that I need to be independent, that I need to stand on my feet before anything else in life. I thrived on that. It was my single motivation at times. Who I am today, is because of her.

My sister is completely different from me, but is regarded by her family and friends as the one they can fall back on, anytime in life. She is gentle, compassionate, and very, very loving. And very good at what she does. She is just not as vocal. She approaches everything in life with meticulous planning. Having her in my life taught me to share, love , be compassionate, and above all, gave me a best friend for life.

TB’s mom and her sisters. They are most strong willed people I have met in my life. The four sisters are fighters, In true sense. They fought against life and each of them today, are retired professionals who came up from the most difficult circumstances in life. Their dad died a very proud man, that much I know. He could not have asked for better children. And I could not thank them enough for TB.

It would be unfair to stop this post if I do not talk about…..

My father, who stood up for me when I needed most- when the family wanted me to be married at 18, he chose to let me go away and study what I wanted to. We always had arguments when I was younger, I now realize (which my mom said long ago!) that it was because I was like him, in all senses. Where I am today in life, is because of him.

TB, the one person who gave me complete freedom in life to be myself, chose what I want to do, and never asked me why? Even when things went horribly wrong. He just stands by and tells me to get up and start again. He did not have an ego problem having a wife who was earning more than him at some point in life. Who has never imposed on me any of his personal interests. Growing up in a joint family with his mom and sisters is a lot of influence on a boy’s life. He respects women in a way that that is very rare.And loves me for the person I am, appearances never mattered to him.
My persona, my strength and individuality today, is because of him.

I know I have drifted considerably from where I started, but….It just seemed the day I needed to thank everyone for making my life so wonderful. I can’t help but feel as a fortunate girl child. There needs to be more of us. And none of those posters.

V is moving out..

He has a new cot and is moving out to his room this week. The cot has arrived, the made to order bed is not here yet. And we still have to get him spiderman coordinated sheet and pillow covers.

And i am not so sure if i should be feeling happy or sad. It feels like he is moving out of the house. Right now he starts every night by pushing us( kicking us to be exact) out of the sofa and plonking himself there while we catch up on some TV viewing. Then we move onto the bedroom where he brings along his pillow, reading book, a towel to hold on while he sleeps and insists that we read him the book and then, he reads it to us! That is when he is at his talkative best, and that is the only time he prefers to talk about school.
We talk in the darkness and there is something very magical about that last bit of the day before falling asleep. Both V and me take a while to settle down and giggle and laugh, making TB wake up and wonder how on earth he is supposed to live with two slightly mad people at home. This is my life, and i love it

How will i go to sleep without having V snuggle up? Both TB and me ask him whose side does he want to sleep today. V is very gracious, he takes turns, i know he secretly prefers to sleep closer to TB( so do i!). I can't get over the fact that next week on,he's going to sleep on his own.

The whole thought process behind getting him a cot was to make him sleep earlier, initiate him into schooling hours. Right now, the idea is not looking very appealing to me.
Maybe i will still let him sleep with us and carry him onto his bed later, like we do now. My baby is growing up, and i am feeling a little deprived.

Is this normal? or is my paranoia setting in?

Moments

There are some moments that stay in my memory, forever. And most of these are not significant milestones of life. These are just moments, very random, and with no particular reason, and no particular association to any event.
Last evening we took V out for some rides and his favourite KFC( pronounced kay ep zee). We stopped by to draw some cash and TB took V along to the ATM. I sat inside the car and watched them walk in the drizzle and in that one moment, felf my life was perfect, with these two men in my life, i did not need anything more.
Am i just being overtly emotional here? i do not know...all i know is that this moment, like many others, will stay with me forever. And will keep coming back...

One more?

I have written here , several times over that TB and me would love to have another kid..a girl, maybe?

But the question is when?I can never seem to put together a good time for that. As always, there are these million questions that come to mind....
1. How do i share my time with V???
2. Where is my support structure to maintain another kid..and this does not in anyway mean money.
3. What do i do once i have two kids? Quit working?( unthinkable!)
4. How will we manage home/ kids/ work and commute!!
Invariably, it all comes back to time....which we have in hand in very scanty amount.

I completely feel V should have a sibling- to learn to share, to love, to be responsible for, to be loved, to be adored, to be looked upon and just to be there for him, when all else has passed. I just don't know when. Every evening, when the door opens and V flies into my arms, i completely fail my resolve to have another kid someday , and share my time with him.

We have so much love to give him, and so little time to tell him that. For now, being a perfect family can wait..i need V and his hugs, unrestrained.

Sooofaaaa

We have a sofa in our 'living' cum 'dining' cum 'everything' else room- considering we spend about 85% of the time at home in that room. Now this sofa is today's topic.
Nope----- it's not handed down the generations, it is not gifted, it is not the most expensive piece of furniture we own,but it hold a very distinguished place in our house. It was bought of a very small corner furniture shop in bangalore and is with us because - (1) TB got a bonus that month (2) We did not have anything to plonk ourselves in front of TV---in that order.

It is one of those foam filled, upholstered sofa's that every struggling couple invest in their early years of marriage and promply give up as years progress, a 5 seater( 3+1+1). The decision to buy this one was instant- it was cheap, it was brown- means no dusting required everyday ( i love browns, this one is a very mild brown, kind of like chocolate milkshake), and they were ready to transport it home at no additional cost..PERFECT.

So we have had this sofa for the last six years now? maybe more..it is the coziest sofa u could find...very warm in winter and early mornings, with a roomy armrest where you could balance glasses/ bowls of chips/ TV remotes and everything that you put there. TB used to spend his entire off days on this sofa - with a bag of chips and a bottle of soft drink close by, and the DVD player filled with at least three movies. This was before we had V...

Now, V practically lives off this sofa...he plays on it, reads on it, writes on it- literally, and watches cartoons on it. He even insists on having his food there. On Sundays, there is usually a first right of refusal fight..TB gets his pillow to settle down and V promptly plonks himself down. It is quite a sight to see father and son squeezing and making space to lie down in a sofa that is maybe 6X3 ft.

The old faithful sofa was entering its fouth year of existence in our house when we felt the need to upgrade ourselves, and get better seating arrangements. For some vague reason i cannot recollect now( it must be divine intervention) the thought got shelved and the sofa stayed on....I can't be thankful enough for that.

In the last three years, that sofa has been subjected to torture of the third degree in several forms...here are some of the stuff that the sofa was subjected to ......
Cereal/ Tea/ Coffee/ Juice/ Vegetables that V does not like to eat/ hot water/ ink/ jelly and various forms of food that V munches on...and ahem!..lots of PEE( i know its gross, but this is the truth) . Of course all the times when he is sick, he promply throws up on the sofa..

And here are some stuff that have gone into the various crevices and have not been extricated till date----Remnants of chips / plastic spoons/ bits of crayons/ Toffee wrappers/SHEAFFERS PEN- brand new!!/ buttons/ hooks/ bottle caps/ tissue paper/ small handkercheifs/ broken pencils...and thousand other things that i have no clue about.
V has also managed to break open a refill last week and promptly wiped off all the permanent ink on the sofa. So now we have this huge blue amoeba shaped ink stain on one of the single seaters that i have manged to move to a not so noticable part of the room.

Maybe we should move on in life, dispose off the sofa. It is not is any condition to be displayed when we have guests over( nor is our walls , for that matter- they are an extension of V's creative energy. I tried telling him that it is his house and he should not be drawing on the walls. Pat came the reply- " this is not my house, my house is in bangalore"- i gave up).

We now live with a stained sofa that has more stuff hidden inside than a treasure chest, in a house where there are abstract drawings on the wall, that can be any animal as V wishes, and zillions of broken toys, at least half of which are strewn around the house at any point in time. Would i like to have it any other way...NEVER!That sofa is staying...till it gives up.

PS: For all those of you who know us and plan to visit us anytime , do not let the above description discourage u, we clean the sofa. No fear!

Whats in a name??

Whats in a name?...maybe everything, or nothing at all.
I read a post which commented about the names of Brad pitt and Angeline Jolie's latest twins, it said" while the son has a name that is as weird as that of a lot of celebrity kids , the daughter for a change , has a normal name"...hmmmm.... this topic intrigued me.

Lets start from the beginning. I was told that my name came out of a disagreement between my father and my grandmom, who could not agree on each other's choice, so they just combined both and named me. I should thank my stars that the word means something and does not sound as disjoint at a lot of names of my generation. It is traditional as it can get, and quite modern too.
For many years when i was a kid, i never liked my name( the fact that a very popular C grade actress had the same name caused much heartburn and ridicule). It took a very old Bishop lots of patience to talk me out of it. Maybe it has something to do with his talk, but names intrigue me. Sometimes, when i only have the name of a person, i try and put a personality to it. Why was he/ she named that ? what did the parents think? Sometimes it tells you a lot about what to expect..and something it turns out to be a complete blooper.

I think my generation suffers from having some of the worst possible names i have come across...the one's before that was very traditional, so they has names with meanings, and the current gereration seems to have returned to sanity after the brief experiment with our generation. I has classmates with the following names " Rasna"/ " Lorry"/ " Dreamsweetie"/ etc..and countless others with names that combined the elements of both parents names( this was the fad/ the IN thing), and sounded weird!The trauma of living with those names must be awful!
One of my little cousins almost became a victim of this...her parents realized before the naming ceremony that when they combined their names, the word that was formed exactly translated into....errrrrr" moustache"!!!!!!!!!!!and quickly found an alternative.

How do you classify a name as good and another as bad?At the end of the day, a name is very personal,as i have my own likes a dislikes when it comes to it. One of the reason's i said "yes" to TB , may also be because he has a very traditional sounding name..i just liked the ring of it. I love names that have a meaning, that are musical,and signify something. It just helps me associate that person with something tangible, maybe.

When we were expecting V, we dicussed names , as any parents to be would, ....i was quite sure it had to be a single word . We had a penchant for traditional Indian names, so V was called " Vishnu". I could not think of a more " all encompassing name",and thank fully, the family loved it.Between three cousins, we have four boys, and all their names mean the same. Says something about the family!

I wonder at times if having another name would have affected the course of events in my life? Probably not......Would it have affected the kind of person i am? Maybe yes...and i like mine exactly as it is today- name and life. I'll have to ask TB if he would have proposed , had i been known with a different name.... And then i will know if a name has any effect on course of life too....

Need To..need to

I need to reduce..weight, that is. Of course i can't write here how much i tilt the scales at right now, but it is definitely a very memorable figure( nightmarish!)
Well, it has not been this way always....i have had my days as the svelte, lean framed 18 year old. Not very sure if i looked any better than now at 48 kilos( please note- exacly 10 years ago)...but was definitely healthier.
I keep promising myself to reduce, every time i find a pretty dress and figure out it is two sizes small. What amazes me is that, a good 70% of the women i see on a daily basis are either healthy or putting it blankly, oversize for their height!. Then why is that 95% of the readymades available are not made for them??
Time someone gave fashion a serious thought!..a practical sit down thinking!
Coming back to losing weight, i even manage to put myself on track and actually start following sensible eating etc..but no exercise..very bad.I of course have the regular excuse trappings..no time, working mom, cooking dinner, child demanding time etc etc...
There are these dozens of people in my building who, unlike me, appreciate the activity of keeping fit and spend time doing what it takes...there are so many of them running around in different directions in the morning, i get worried we might have a pileup right here on the walkway. Wouldn't look too nice. They depress me!!I despise,loathe and envy them.
There i go again...
Ok,so the reason that i really started writing this is because today morning onwards, i have decided that i should maybe go back to sensible eating..more importantly, get TB also to do that. He loves food...preferably the kind that runs and swims.
When we were newly married, TB's aunt told me something that stayed.She lost her husband to Diabetes. He loved his food and at some stage, it just got to him. I repeat it here as my version to remind myself - which is very often.
" What is the worst thing that can happen to someone who loves eating and does not care about what it can cause??...living with a person who finds pleasure in cooking and feeding them"----we, that way are a match made in heaven...and a disaster in waiting.
Now that i have explained the reasons to myself and am partly convinced...i need to, need to put my eating habits in order....

The week is over..just like that. I have no plans for this weekend, except to stay home with V and TB. Maybe watch some movies on DVD.
V is down with a viral fever. Poor thing has been having frequent bouts of high temperatures and wants to just be held, by me/ TB or maramma ,whoever is close by. So it has been three days of school and then two days of convalescing this week for V.
I am waiting for him to get better ....the house is so dead when he is not active. I will not fight with him if he decides to write on the wall..or on the floor...or leave crumbs in between the sofa slits. All i want now is for him to get better and naughtier....

I had a wonderful weekend....wonderful as i spend time with V and TB and stayed at home. Good things about the raging rains is that you cannot plan to finish that 10 things on the fridge list( most of them being quite irrelevant, but done just for the fact that you spent time writing them down), because it is raining. I am kind of liking the excuse.

So i spent time reading to V, helping him with his crayon drawings, trying to make stuff with play -dough( i must confess here that my artistic skills have hit a wall, all i could think of making was funny faces, while maramma- V's 60 year old best friend came up with a multicoloured snake- complete with hood and tongue).

V has found himself the perfect spot in the living room for enjoying the rain. I think it is quite cozy and moved the sofa there so i could enjoy watching him look out at the rain-could have spent the entire weekend looking at him and answering all the inane questions. He was thrilled when we made his favourite jelly....and put it in different moulds so he could have different shapes after each meal. I take him insisting to share his jelly is his way of expressing his love, and it made my weekend:-)

The weekend ended on two very notable occurences....

1. My tummy decided to call it a day and gave up on sunday night...thus having to forgo the Chocolate chip mousse from Baskin Robbins

2. Gave the Canadian Grand Prix a miss for the same reason cited above.



We wake up today to first day of school..and set the precedent to-fight/ scream/ cry / shout/ threaten throught breakfast before school. Hallelujah!

TB and i are in a juncture where we have mentally prepared to take a step we have eluded for quite some years.....buying a flat. It never looked possible before, not till we went for the house warming and liked that flat in the same apartment. Once we wanted to go ahead and buy it..all the (imaginary) problems that i had envisioned over time just seems non existent.
Now i am wondering why did we not do this before.
This is the second time in life that this thought has occured to me...the first was when we decided to start a family....i used to be scared of the idea of having a baby.....i was not sure if we would be good parents..if we will have enough finances...if everything will go well. It was always the "if".
Once the baby bug bit us( guess we got tired of working and watching TV and eating late dinners)....the "if's " magically dissappeared. Having a baby was the perfect thing to do. Then the anxiousness sets in...
It is always that way..it takes years to make up our mind to do something. Once we do make up our minds, it feels impossible to even wait days for it to happen.
Right now i am in that phase.....having waited all these years to make that decision, these few days while the bank decides whether we are creditworthy to be given a loan, seems like forever.
I am anxious.....as hell!