Why am i doing this?

Come this may, and we will take a huge step in our life.

V's nanny returns to her native place for good. In simple terms, it can be described as a " blow below the belt". Now starts the worry of - finding a daycare that will take in V while both if us are away for work. Not exactly what we want to do, but very less choice in there.

I am fairly sure she will want to stay back for a while more if we really push her, or maybe even suggest it, and it is not going to be easy to manage work/ home/ kid...but then --The decision of letting her move on has been made, her family informed and appraised.

So why exactly are we doing this???I kept asking myself this question ..and in my mind...

This is why we need to do it.

• Her age is catching up. V is getting more active, her agility is failing. Her general health i better than average, but her age worries me.And age related problems have started showing up. About time for her to spend time with her family, and not with us.
• She came to us with an initial decision of staying till V was 3 and then stayed on, because- she could not stay without him. So the next 2 years happened. Now she feels that V's dependency on he is reducing. Which is - true. They move on. They need less of us to do things. She finds that difficult to accept and discourages him from doing things on his own. Not good in the long run.
• I think me and TB are growing complacent. We have someone else take care of V's small things on a daily basis. In these formative years,parents need to be around for children to learn from them and grow. V sees more of her, and learns a lot from her. Ideally we would like that he learns from his parents.
• On a selfish note, not having someone live in the house 24 hours a day will also give us some " we" time and live as we please.
• And at a very secretive, personal level, i harbour the hope that i might just quit and stay at home for a while and just be a mom and wife. Practically very unwise, buy hey! it's my hope.

Writing all this down was easy. The road ahead is not. I have a feeling i just asked my way to hell.The problem with all such exalted predictions is that they come true, and come back to bite in our butt!

But this had to happen someday. Better now than later! I need a lot of prayers, and a way forward.

In my usual style, i shall procrastinate till April!