My revenge plots

In the middle of a serious discussion, the other person says “I’ll call you back, I am getting another call” and hangs up.

I am anxious to finish the conversation, and get the plan in place (being the worrywart that I am).I keep staring at the phone, expecting it to ring any moment…

It does not…..for I minute, for 5 minutes, for 30 minutes, for an hour,
--- For what seems like eternity.

I get back to doing other stuff, absent mindedly, waiting for the phone to ring….And mentally plotting revenge on the person who is to call you back,
--Because, I know he/ she is not going to call back, the plan is not going anywhere,
--Because I am the (only) one responsible around here, and I will end up doing everything on my own,
-- Because I hate being superwoman and all that stuff.

I am still doing other stuff, waiting for the phone to ring, and my revenge plot is getting thicker now. I have disowned, denounced all sorts of relationship with the other party, given up on them for life, and am currently plotting life sans the other person.

I have, by now, lamented my state of affairs, compared it with a lot of peers, come to the conclusion that I have got a raw deal in life…..

The superwoman alter ego wakes up, figures out all this can be done by self, shoves whining self persona into the closet and plans it all out to the T, including the revenge. Exactly then,

Phone rings, other person calls back…………
Revenge plot dies!!!

Happens very often in my world…………………..

I am like dis only...

All of us have quirks; I have not met anyone who claims to have none, yet.

I have zillions. Zillions of tiny quirks, some that even I do not realize exist. Some known to the entire family.

I love sitting on the floor when I am chatting up my family back at our native place , I just feels more- normal- don’t ask me why.

I have to, have to, wash my feet and face, just before I sleep.

I had a lucky dress, way back in college/ school, the one that I wore for my finals, my college interview and admission. Well, I did well in the test, got the admission and TB fell for me on the day of admission (this piece of trivia, he disclosed to me after 3 years and 10 months, or something close to that)

I have to spread the toothpaste all over the bristles, with my fingers, before I start brushing( I do that with V’s brush too)

And many many more….

And the one that I just discovered last night!

After we got V off the nappies, I started waking up once during the night to take him to the loo….no, it has not been fool proofed yet, but we( read- me) still try.

What has happened though, is that I have got into this habit of waking up in the middle of the night, and taking rounds of the house.

I wake up, use the restroom, drink water from the fridge, go to the front door, check the locks and the windows, making sure all our possessions are intact, go back to kitchen, wonder if I have forgotten to soak anything for the morning( I actually did that too once). Peep into the spare room to ensure v’amma has not vanished, find her covers from the other end of her bed and put them on her. Come back to the bedroom, kiss peacefully sleeping V to disturb him, physically lift TB’s arm and leg occupying my part of the bed, shove them to the other side, lie down and promptly go to sleep again.

I have been doing this for over two years now, and did not even give this routine a thought till last week. Last week, when TB’s cousin was visiting, I was on my regular rounds and was about to peek into the room and -----

I realized it was not v'amma sleeping in the room. Damn!

I’ll have to cut out that part of the routine, lest I get into trouble with visiting couples.

As for the remaining stuff, I am kinda liking it. It is a nice feeling to wake up, and check around and know that all’s well with my world.
Guess I’ll keep this quirk ‘coz I like it.

And therein begins our..trials and anxiety

Tomorrow we are officially collecting the first of the application forms from a local school for V. And therein....stepping gingerly into the trials and tribulations of education sytem in India.

Whatever Mumbai has in abundance, it does not have enought schools. I could shout out that from any rooftop you want me to, totally.

I am given to understand from his friends mother that if i go in with all the required documents and fill up an submit the form tomorrow itself, they will let me know the interview dates immediately.

Wait a minute..she said " interview"

---- interview, who? . Turns out me and TB have to be there, and we get interviewed.

Okay, we knew this was coming. So i promptly call up TB and tell him so, verbatim. There is a full minute of silence before he says ..

" Should we carry any files???''

Anxiety is taking over. PERIOD!

Boooooomeranged

Last weekend,we were driving around with TB's cousin who was visiting us, and it was one of those rare occassions where V was sittting with him in the passenger seat. Usually that is where i sit, and make sure he doesn't change the gear to reverse while TB is driving,

So we stop in between to fill gas, TB steps out and----------

* horror* A very inquisitive tiny hand goes to the steering wheel, the handbrake and gear

Me *shouts*----"don't you dare touch that ...the car is still on"-------------* exasperated sigh*

V * turns in slow motion- points finger*----------------" Don't shout,i can understand if you say without shouting"



Cousin * laughs his guts out*

Me *startled!- boomeranged expression on face*

Three cheers to Google desktop!!!!

If you ask me what is the one invention that has changed the life of mankind...oh , okay the life of this blogger, It is called------------

" Google desktop"

Thank you for helping me restore these three posts that were earlier published on Nov 14th, Nov17th and Nov 19th ( not in that order though).

I can sleep in peace tonight!

Yeah ...just about a zillion times

I spent the first few months of marriage with TB's family, away from TB, for various reasons- (another story, another day).

Of course, it hurt that TB was away, but I have to admit that i enjoyed those few months. What is known of them as a family is thanks to that quality time. All the weight that I still carry around is also thanks to that.
-All of them love food. From a family that eats to survive, it was quite a change.
- Cooking up treats is a way of showing how much they love you. I got tons of both—love, and treats.

Another very interesting discovery was that TB’s dad has dozens of old movies, collected over years. Actually, he likes to collect a lot of things, anything that fancies him to be precise. And----he loves watching them again and again. I think I ended up watching “Lawrence of Arabia” about 52 times, or maybe more!

-Please note…dad with tell you the technical aspects of each scene in the movie, how it was made and every trivia you never knew existed. About 52 times over!

-And---he falls asleep in between the movie, while you are trying to pay attention for the 52nd time. Wakes up to figure out that he missed about twenty minutes of the movie, rewinds that part and starts again. Falls asleep-misses part of movie-wakes up- rewind-watches missed part-falls asleep- misses part of movie….you get it.
Technically, I think I must have watched some parts of the movie about 326 times.

- He also likes to quote anecdotes/ real life stories. And he will have one ready for most situations, for most events, people, and everything that matter. And! You will hear these every time that specific topic is broached, which is very often- it is quite a large family, and all of them love to talk. So when he starts an anecdote, all of us know exactly what story is, who the cast of characters are, what happened etc. And since it is harmless, no one actually reminds him that they have heard this about 100 times before. Let the man have his say.

Now, why is this significant? Here’s why----

TB looks like his dad
- Has the same features( I dread the pot belly, which is on an aggressive growth path right now)
- Is as or maybe more stubborn.
- Can sit straight up and sleep comfortably( complete- with snores)
- Loves perfumes.
- Loves food. Thinks eating healthy = non vegetarian food everyday
- Loves collecting movies – some never get watched- actually never get opened at all.
- Collects things just because it fancies him, though he may never use them after that first wave of fancy dies.
- And gives them away to people who ask for it, just like dad does (I know of several people who have their homes set up thanks to dad).

And….most importantly,

-Repeats stories- since I do not have the patience and perseverance that TB’s mom does, I am trying not to chuckle and remind him that I have heard this one before, just about a zillion times.
- Falls asleep during movies- misses part of movie- wakes up- rewinds, watches missed part- falls asleep again- misses ………. How?????

Whoever said that genes do not pass on habits, lied- blatantly.

"It is by chance we met . . .

…….By choice we became friends."



Yesterday, when I was speaking to a neighbor, she asked me a question that set off this discussion.

She asked “Why do you let V play with Z all the time, you know it not the wisest thing, there are much smarter kids out there. Maybe you should direct V to be friendlier with them”



Should I ? Why?The child Z in discussion is V’s close friend, have a fantastic set of parents who adore him, is very good looking and has a temperament to die for. His shortcoming? ----At 5 years of age, he still does not speak coherently.

So? It’s just a matter of time.



I see V and him playing, cycling around, sometimes in a gang, sometimes on their own, and V keeps chatting…Z actually picks up words and talks back to V. He is everything V would like in a good friend. They understand each other, they complement each other….What more can I ask for?So I turned to my neighbour and said “Why should i? They love each other’s company, they stand up for each other, and they understand each other..isn’t that what friends are supposed to be? Are you worried that he not speaking will rub off on V and he will become any less smart than he is now?Maybe Z will learn faster with V around, and maybe Z’s temper will rub off on V..i’d like to look at it that way”.



It is his choice..and I know friends can’t be made. They have to happen….When i was growing up, my parents were not really keen about some of the children i was friendly with in class. No..it had nothing to do with religion, class, gender etc, but another reason i found rather strange then. They weren't smart or good enough!

I remember dad once fleetingly mention that "You'll be better of in school if you are friends with children who do better than you in class, with smarter kids". He i assume, must have thought that some part of their smartness might just rub on me? Maybe. It is a different thing that i never got around actually doing that.



Years later, i wondered why he had said that, and realized that in his social circle at that time, his recognition was directly proportional to his child’s academic/ extra curricular performance and who is your child rubbing shoulders with. And he obviously would have wanted to see that his child- me - did that with the right crowd. Well, the topic died the day i came home and announced my marks in class 10. He was hoping i would do better than his colleague's daughter, the one whose parents sat up all night while she studied for board exams.I did better, out of 5, 49000 students who appeared for the exams, I was ranked 32nd across the state. I was content. He stopped questioning my capabilities, forever.



Back to friends, i moved to stay in a hostel and study, because i got into the college of my choice. In the first year, i was in the dorm with 8 others, and all of us were stars in class.When it came to choosing a roommate for the second year, i just could not figure out anyone i wanted to be with.



I ended up choosing a girl who was not a part of the star gang. And i was very happy. We absolutely loved each other company. She was much grounded. She changed my perspectives about a lot of things in life.



Dr H- if you ever read this, i haven't thanked you enough for that year :-)



Over the years, this is what i have learnt about friends....



-They don't need to be around all the time

- They definitely do not need to be better than you. Having friends from all walks of life is a great leveler. It tells you what you have that you do not appreciate.

- There is never a wrong time to call them.

- When you need them, they are ALWAYS there. At different walks of our life, we have needed help. It was always our friends who stood up for us, and most often, not the same ones.
-----I have lived in with a colleague and her husband for a month when i was in last stages of my pregnancy, and when TB was away. I had known them for 5 months then.
-----I was fed and taken care of by another friend and wife, who had met me about three times before that.
-----One couple who have stood by us through thick and thin for the last few years started out being TB’s bosses.
-----Three of the people I can call as good friends today, were first met as colleagues at my second job.


And no…I did not choose them; I did not ask them to be my friends. They just became. And none of them are rockstars, they are not the smartest t out there in the world- not the most successful. But they are the best for me.



“A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings”