My revenge plots

In the middle of a serious discussion, the other person says “I’ll call you back, I am getting another call” and hangs up.

I am anxious to finish the conversation, and get the plan in place (being the worrywart that I am).I keep staring at the phone, expecting it to ring any moment…

It does not…..for I minute, for 5 minutes, for 30 minutes, for an hour,
--- For what seems like eternity.

I get back to doing other stuff, absent mindedly, waiting for the phone to ring….And mentally plotting revenge on the person who is to call you back,
--Because, I know he/ she is not going to call back, the plan is not going anywhere,
--Because I am the (only) one responsible around here, and I will end up doing everything on my own,
-- Because I hate being superwoman and all that stuff.

I am still doing other stuff, waiting for the phone to ring, and my revenge plot is getting thicker now. I have disowned, denounced all sorts of relationship with the other party, given up on them for life, and am currently plotting life sans the other person.

I have, by now, lamented my state of affairs, compared it with a lot of peers, come to the conclusion that I have got a raw deal in life…..

The superwoman alter ego wakes up, figures out all this can be done by self, shoves whining self persona into the closet and plans it all out to the T, including the revenge. Exactly then,

Phone rings, other person calls back…………
Revenge plot dies!!!

Happens very often in my world…………………..

I am like dis only...

All of us have quirks; I have not met anyone who claims to have none, yet.

I have zillions. Zillions of tiny quirks, some that even I do not realize exist. Some known to the entire family.

I love sitting on the floor when I am chatting up my family back at our native place , I just feels more- normal- don’t ask me why.

I have to, have to, wash my feet and face, just before I sleep.

I had a lucky dress, way back in college/ school, the one that I wore for my finals, my college interview and admission. Well, I did well in the test, got the admission and TB fell for me on the day of admission (this piece of trivia, he disclosed to me after 3 years and 10 months, or something close to that)

I have to spread the toothpaste all over the bristles, with my fingers, before I start brushing( I do that with V’s brush too)

And many many more….

And the one that I just discovered last night!

After we got V off the nappies, I started waking up once during the night to take him to the loo….no, it has not been fool proofed yet, but we( read- me) still try.

What has happened though, is that I have got into this habit of waking up in the middle of the night, and taking rounds of the house.

I wake up, use the restroom, drink water from the fridge, go to the front door, check the locks and the windows, making sure all our possessions are intact, go back to kitchen, wonder if I have forgotten to soak anything for the morning( I actually did that too once). Peep into the spare room to ensure v’amma has not vanished, find her covers from the other end of her bed and put them on her. Come back to the bedroom, kiss peacefully sleeping V to disturb him, physically lift TB’s arm and leg occupying my part of the bed, shove them to the other side, lie down and promptly go to sleep again.

I have been doing this for over two years now, and did not even give this routine a thought till last week. Last week, when TB’s cousin was visiting, I was on my regular rounds and was about to peek into the room and -----

I realized it was not v'amma sleeping in the room. Damn!

I’ll have to cut out that part of the routine, lest I get into trouble with visiting couples.

As for the remaining stuff, I am kinda liking it. It is a nice feeling to wake up, and check around and know that all’s well with my world.
Guess I’ll keep this quirk ‘coz I like it.

And therein begins our..trials and anxiety

Tomorrow we are officially collecting the first of the application forms from a local school for V. And therein....stepping gingerly into the trials and tribulations of education sytem in India.

Whatever Mumbai has in abundance, it does not have enought schools. I could shout out that from any rooftop you want me to, totally.

I am given to understand from his friends mother that if i go in with all the required documents and fill up an submit the form tomorrow itself, they will let me know the interview dates immediately.

Wait a minute..she said " interview"

---- interview, who? . Turns out me and TB have to be there, and we get interviewed.

Okay, we knew this was coming. So i promptly call up TB and tell him so, verbatim. There is a full minute of silence before he says ..

" Should we carry any files???''

Anxiety is taking over. PERIOD!

Boooooomeranged

Last weekend,we were driving around with TB's cousin who was visiting us, and it was one of those rare occassions where V was sittting with him in the passenger seat. Usually that is where i sit, and make sure he doesn't change the gear to reverse while TB is driving,

So we stop in between to fill gas, TB steps out and----------

* horror* A very inquisitive tiny hand goes to the steering wheel, the handbrake and gear

Me *shouts*----"don't you dare touch that ...the car is still on"-------------* exasperated sigh*

V * turns in slow motion- points finger*----------------" Don't shout,i can understand if you say without shouting"



Cousin * laughs his guts out*

Me *startled!- boomeranged expression on face*

Three cheers to Google desktop!!!!

If you ask me what is the one invention that has changed the life of mankind...oh , okay the life of this blogger, It is called------------

" Google desktop"

Thank you for helping me restore these three posts that were earlier published on Nov 14th, Nov17th and Nov 19th ( not in that order though).

I can sleep in peace tonight!

Yeah ...just about a zillion times

I spent the first few months of marriage with TB's family, away from TB, for various reasons- (another story, another day).

Of course, it hurt that TB was away, but I have to admit that i enjoyed those few months. What is known of them as a family is thanks to that quality time. All the weight that I still carry around is also thanks to that.
-All of them love food. From a family that eats to survive, it was quite a change.
- Cooking up treats is a way of showing how much they love you. I got tons of both—love, and treats.

Another very interesting discovery was that TB’s dad has dozens of old movies, collected over years. Actually, he likes to collect a lot of things, anything that fancies him to be precise. And----he loves watching them again and again. I think I ended up watching “Lawrence of Arabia” about 52 times, or maybe more!

-Please note…dad with tell you the technical aspects of each scene in the movie, how it was made and every trivia you never knew existed. About 52 times over!

-And---he falls asleep in between the movie, while you are trying to pay attention for the 52nd time. Wakes up to figure out that he missed about twenty minutes of the movie, rewinds that part and starts again. Falls asleep-misses part of movie-wakes up- rewind-watches missed part-falls asleep- misses part of movie….you get it.
Technically, I think I must have watched some parts of the movie about 326 times.

- He also likes to quote anecdotes/ real life stories. And he will have one ready for most situations, for most events, people, and everything that matter. And! You will hear these every time that specific topic is broached, which is very often- it is quite a large family, and all of them love to talk. So when he starts an anecdote, all of us know exactly what story is, who the cast of characters are, what happened etc. And since it is harmless, no one actually reminds him that they have heard this about 100 times before. Let the man have his say.

Now, why is this significant? Here’s why----

TB looks like his dad
- Has the same features( I dread the pot belly, which is on an aggressive growth path right now)
- Is as or maybe more stubborn.
- Can sit straight up and sleep comfortably( complete- with snores)
- Loves perfumes.
- Loves food. Thinks eating healthy = non vegetarian food everyday
- Loves collecting movies – some never get watched- actually never get opened at all.
- Collects things just because it fancies him, though he may never use them after that first wave of fancy dies.
- And gives them away to people who ask for it, just like dad does (I know of several people who have their homes set up thanks to dad).

And….most importantly,

-Repeats stories- since I do not have the patience and perseverance that TB’s mom does, I am trying not to chuckle and remind him that I have heard this one before, just about a zillion times.
- Falls asleep during movies- misses part of movie- wakes up- rewinds, watches missed part- falls asleep again- misses ………. How?????

Whoever said that genes do not pass on habits, lied- blatantly.

"It is by chance we met . . .

…….By choice we became friends."



Yesterday, when I was speaking to a neighbor, she asked me a question that set off this discussion.

She asked “Why do you let V play with Z all the time, you know it not the wisest thing, there are much smarter kids out there. Maybe you should direct V to be friendlier with them”



Should I ? Why?The child Z in discussion is V’s close friend, have a fantastic set of parents who adore him, is very good looking and has a temperament to die for. His shortcoming? ----At 5 years of age, he still does not speak coherently.

So? It’s just a matter of time.



I see V and him playing, cycling around, sometimes in a gang, sometimes on their own, and V keeps chatting…Z actually picks up words and talks back to V. He is everything V would like in a good friend. They understand each other, they complement each other….What more can I ask for?So I turned to my neighbour and said “Why should i? They love each other’s company, they stand up for each other, and they understand each other..isn’t that what friends are supposed to be? Are you worried that he not speaking will rub off on V and he will become any less smart than he is now?Maybe Z will learn faster with V around, and maybe Z’s temper will rub off on V..i’d like to look at it that way”.



It is his choice..and I know friends can’t be made. They have to happen….When i was growing up, my parents were not really keen about some of the children i was friendly with in class. No..it had nothing to do with religion, class, gender etc, but another reason i found rather strange then. They weren't smart or good enough!

I remember dad once fleetingly mention that "You'll be better of in school if you are friends with children who do better than you in class, with smarter kids". He i assume, must have thought that some part of their smartness might just rub on me? Maybe. It is a different thing that i never got around actually doing that.



Years later, i wondered why he had said that, and realized that in his social circle at that time, his recognition was directly proportional to his child’s academic/ extra curricular performance and who is your child rubbing shoulders with. And he obviously would have wanted to see that his child- me - did that with the right crowd. Well, the topic died the day i came home and announced my marks in class 10. He was hoping i would do better than his colleague's daughter, the one whose parents sat up all night while she studied for board exams.I did better, out of 5, 49000 students who appeared for the exams, I was ranked 32nd across the state. I was content. He stopped questioning my capabilities, forever.



Back to friends, i moved to stay in a hostel and study, because i got into the college of my choice. In the first year, i was in the dorm with 8 others, and all of us were stars in class.When it came to choosing a roommate for the second year, i just could not figure out anyone i wanted to be with.



I ended up choosing a girl who was not a part of the star gang. And i was very happy. We absolutely loved each other company. She was much grounded. She changed my perspectives about a lot of things in life.



Dr H- if you ever read this, i haven't thanked you enough for that year :-)



Over the years, this is what i have learnt about friends....



-They don't need to be around all the time

- They definitely do not need to be better than you. Having friends from all walks of life is a great leveler. It tells you what you have that you do not appreciate.

- There is never a wrong time to call them.

- When you need them, they are ALWAYS there. At different walks of our life, we have needed help. It was always our friends who stood up for us, and most often, not the same ones.
-----I have lived in with a colleague and her husband for a month when i was in last stages of my pregnancy, and when TB was away. I had known them for 5 months then.
-----I was fed and taken care of by another friend and wife, who had met me about three times before that.
-----One couple who have stood by us through thick and thin for the last few years started out being TB’s bosses.
-----Three of the people I can call as good friends today, were first met as colleagues at my second job.


And no…I did not choose them; I did not ask them to be my friends. They just became. And none of them are rockstars, they are not the smartest t out there in the world- not the most successful. But they are the best for me.



“A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings”

Mayday mayday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My last three posts have dissappeared........I am doomed!

Right now i feel like my entire world is crashing around...Why does blogger not reconfirm when you accidentally delete the post itself instead of only the label??????????????

With my limited technological knowledge, i am off to figure out if i can revive the posts that ran away

Presenting--- Mr Ladybug

We did our first craft project last week, and how!


V had a school fancy dress wher he had to go as an insect of a flower. We had got the information about this long ago, but in my usual procrastinationg mode, i just let it be.

Having done this last year, i decided to chicken out and take the same route- hire a costume. In mumbai, you can get anything, for a price. So there i was, ready to face this event, all mentally prepared.


What i did not anticipate though, was a healthy overdone of parental guilt!. The weekend before last, i started getting guilt pangs about my non participativeness. I had a horrible feeling that i was turning into one of those moms who have all the money and material pleasures , but no time for their children. Aaaarrrgh!!
So i went to office, and took advice from my colleagues at office of what i could do. And man, i did get tons of advice. Experienced, practical advise.


Armed with all that, i asked V what he wanted to be "flower" or "insect"? Of Course..he wanted to be an insect. Good- what if i had turned him into a flower and he disowns me 15 years later because of what i did?
Then we took his insect book and looked at all the pictures...and decided on Ladybug. So ladybug it is..Errr..is there a Mr. ladybug? Never mind.


I spent two evenings after work collecting the things i needed for the costume. I decided to make him wear black from top to bottom and make a wing( bump??) on his back ,coloured red with black dots on it. The plan sounded perfect to me.


The show was on Saturday and friday evening, back from work, i started on the costume. For the wing, i made the frame with thin wire and made the antennae with a metal hair band and red balls , that was available everywhere for christmas decorations.Just when i hit a mental block on how to cover the frame with paper, TB walked in. Wonderful!


He covered the entire frame with paper and covered the top with red felt paper. By the time we were done , it was much past midnight. We crashed after leaving it out to dry. The highlight of the night being V slicing off a part of my finger along with the cellotape, and wailing because he hurt me:-)


In the morning, i added the spots on it with black felt circles, attached strings to tie the wings around his shoulder and did the finishing touches. And we were ready to roll.
The fancy dress was nothing spectacular..
-Parents sauntering in at their wish, holding up the event.
- Most kids refusing to pose and clinging onto their parents.
- The principal asking the parents to stop talking to each other so all of us could hear what the kids had to say..
- As usual, chaos.




V went in second, enjoyed every moment of the attention and said his lines. He went around telling his teacher that his mama and papa made the costume * heart swells with pride*.
So we have figured out that we are not so bad at this fancy dress thingie after all. I have been asked to safekeep the costume by all my colleagues, so they can use it sometime.
Recognition!makes you feel good and want to do stuff all over again. Maybe not! my finger is still sore and painful. I'll give it a while.


Attaching some pictures of V in his costumes. The honey bee was the last years costume, the hired one-*smiles sheepishly*. The other one , behold - is the in house creation.

Now again....He does look a little impoverished, doesn't he?...Impoverished ladybug!!

Birthday gift...

Saturday was TB's birthday. Since mom and dad were leaving that day, i decided to get a cake the night before and celebrate it at midnight. So on my way back,i picked up a cake and a gift for TB.
Keeping up with my policy of treating V as a little adult, i told him that it was dad's birthday tomorrow, so we will be cutting a cake for him and then he can give him the gift(pronounced as gif-at). Then, in my most secretive tone, told him that it is a surprise and we will not tell anything to papa. He was thrilled, at being let in on his first secret and was all set to play his part- or at least that is what all of us thought.
TB rings the bell. All of us- mom, dad, self and V are sitting around the sofa- V rushes to open the door, squeals when he sees TB outside, and in the most exciting tone ever, shouts----

" Mama's got a birthday gift for you, its a secret. Come fast and open, i want to see what is in there"
There is a moment of stunned silence, TB breaks into a grin and all of us roll around laughing. So much for a birthday surprise.

PS: My lesson for the day-Never trust almost 4 year olds to keep a secret.

Very important weekend

Very busy weekend ahead..some life altering decisions need to be discussed and decided by our small family. Hope to be back on monday with a clear head and better direction on the course of our life.

Inheritances in health

Every family seems to inherit a lot from their elders, especially when it comes to health, and more specifically ill health and allergies.
My sister has completely taken over from mom. She has the slight wheezing/ skin ailments that mom has, and it has been there as long as i can remember.
I had exhibited all possibilities of inheriting all the unwanted stuff from dad. My systems are all screwed up starting from neck to the top( the brain is not included). Tonsilitis( from dad), blocked nose if i as much stand before an A/C( from dad?) and all associated stuff. These are from age 5 , so the family is kind of used to the fact that i am sneezing away to glory most of the year, and my sister is heavily moisturizing her ankles, even in monsoon.
For the last one year , a new phenomenon has started, i wake up with an arbid blocked nose, that transpires into a heavy throat pain, and my voice changes-sometimes i even sound like TB- and in about three days, lose my voice completely.
Not nice at all, considering that-
-I love talking.
-My job involves talking, most of the day.
- I love singing along with the radio.
- The doc seems to have no idea why this happens- she suspects allergy!

Allergy? WTH, where did this come from?
" Family...please raise your hands those who have contributed this one to my genes"

PS: V seems to be inheriting his mothers legacy as of now...
-he gets a cold sitting with the car A/C on.
-has been treated with asthalin on three occassions in his four years of existence.
- that dark patch on his ankle may turn out to be rough skin( god forbid!)
Maybe i should end the list here.Period!

Remembering a little boy with oodles of attitude

I came across an old acquaintance very recently. Someone i was not in regular contact( which is very unusual for me)for about a decade now.

I could not have come at a worse time than now. They were a very typical nuclear family, father, mother and son. The son, who was the world to his parents , lost his life in june in an unfortunate accident. Read about it here. I remember the boy from ten years ago, he used to walk into dad's office with his mom and looks exactly like the dad. And an attitude to die for .

While there are several theories going around about what really happened, there is no denying the pain and loss the parents are going through. I have seen the pain at close quarters, nineteen years ago, on a sunday morning. The date was July 9th , 1989 and it still hurts for all of us. The pain never goes away, especially with the parents. It just starts waning, along with their life.

Being a mother now, i have this urge to just hold onto V and not give him up to the world. Keep him from everything that is not right. Alchohol, drugs, lies, hatred, road rage, jealousy , everything. I know it is impossible and impractical. I also now that as he grows older, he will have a world of his own, his ideas, his views about life, and they may not agree with mine or TB's most of the time. It will be upto him to find his balance, all i can do is point him in the right direction and trust he has the faith and conviction to choose what is right.

While the legal battle is being fought out to find out what really happened, if the boys were under the influence of alchohol, who was responsible, who is to be punished etc, i wish with his parents that he comes back, and make their lives complete. R I P Curran. May God be with you and peace be with your parents.