Un-maid

I read her in the morning , and said- i have to write today.


We have a lady who lives with us to take care of V. She's family..not tied through blood, but by heart. She's from our village and i have seen her come to work in the fields from when i was a kid. We call her valiamma, which means mother's elder sister. Every one in our building calls her the same. When we moved in, several of our neighbours wanted to know who she was and how she was related to us. I told them she was a distant relative,and someone we have known for a long time.


I was asked this question several times over in the last two years. I wondered why. Slowly i realized it--
-my answer decides her place in this society.


--If i had said she is not related to us and she used to work for our family back home- that would put her in the category of a 'maid'. Then the social setup she will be interacting with will be very different- the cooks, the bai's, the day nanny's, the full time maids and assortment of people that comprise of half the population.

-- If i said she is a relative, she is treated as an equal by the numerous mothers who bring down their kids to play with V, and the people who she meets on a daily basis


I know she will not be there with us for long..but she keeps coming back every year. The reason- she has a place in here. She is not a nobody. And she cannot live without V.

There have been occassions where she was given a second class citizen treatment- but we have always pulled her up, and made sure they know she is family. Today, everyone we know calls her 'valiamma', and treats her with that respect.


I am just glad i said the right thing.