“Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; And every little absence is an age”

I had to kill myself not to use that ticket over this weekend.

I have had some miserable nights....it was like sleep just refused to touch me with a bargepole. I'd read, and read, and listen to some music, fold clothes, watch some TV, read again . switch on the AC, switch it off...And, Nope/Zilch/ Nada - No sleep.

The lending library guys thinks i'm a nut- he almost said that yesterday- albeit very diplomatically. No one has taken two books and returned them the next day, consecutively for the last three days. I think i am nuts.

My mom called me to check if i have made dinner. Heh?And in true style i had not thought of that at all... no fun cooking when you are all by yourself..Muesli will do.

The milkman rings the bell to check if i really exist.." madam, you have not taken milk for the last five days,and house is also not locked- so i thought i should check". At least i will not die and rot in here..he'll make sure of that.

The medical shop owner across the street wants to know when V will come back. His stock of lollipops are not diminishing.

V's friends accost me at the playgound. They want his number in kerala. To call and tell him to come fast. I add a request from my side too..

I call TB to say good night and don't hang up till he falls asleep at the other end..when the snoring starts, i disconnect.

As for the boy...he is refusing to speak to us, more so with me. He hears my voice, and misses me all the more-so he avoids it. I tell mom i am missing him so much- next year we may not send him for so many days.

Mom pauses, and says

"I miss my daughter, the one who left this house 17 years ago. Everyday for the last 17 years, i have cringed the same way you do now. I know she is safe, i know she is happy, she is living her life, but- she is my baby and i miss her, and i will never be able to tell her how much. I miss her incessant talking and non stop singing...We spend 345 days of the year looking forward to the 20 we spend with you.
And now, in this little boy, i see a little bit of both you and TB- it is like having both of you around. This is how it feels being a parent- now you know. Just let us enjoy being the grandparents, at least for these few days, let us indulge him. "

I have no words....what could i have said?


Ps: The title quote is from John Dryden.